Audience

Audience

sunshine submarines

down under

moonshine mermaids

drunken slumber

ocean beds of starfish enterprise

we rocket under waves

under cover

earning hangover Sundays

at blue current churches

sermons from passing Angel fish

winging their way to heaven

oh the kisses sweet

the soft touches 

of the minnows shimmering

in the light

we stroll beneath the surface of love

and bask in the naked eddies 

being pulled further down into the abyss

of passion as

sunshine submarines

pass above us

and the moonshine mermaids

curl their long tails

into a smile

of approval

as we find God in the deep.

erin-cilberto

8/27/19

Reviews

[Linda]

Intriguing and beautiful - thank you, Jacob.

L.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Linda,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Moonshine mermaids... under the cool aqua water...
if only dreams were revelations... as poetry reveals a world of
heavenly creatures where romance rides beneath the
sunshine submarine and feeling waves of free flowing
mermaids entwined in God's plan of divinity. truly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

your review is better than the poem itself...thank you for such a poetic response, Pat,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Jacob... it seems I tend to be poetic in my reviews. Although I must say your poetry is awesome
inspiration. truly, Pat

[Aurora]

Some beautiful lines here and the thought conveyed is rather evocative.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Aurora,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Where do those of us look for God when we have lost faith, I ask myself. I find myself looking more to the natural environment. I look to sunshine, moonshine and oceans for beauty.
Others may look elsewhere. Some may have the power of imagination to conjure up all sorts of possibilities such as sunshine submarines and moonshine mermaids. Your lines really sent me wandering and my brain cells ticking over. Great work Jacob.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Chris.
j.

[Kesch (Finding Julia)]

sunshine submarines
down under
moonshine mermaids
drunken slumber

Oh wow, I so love this part! This is so well written and creative. love this

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Amy,
j.

[Kesch (Finding Julia)]

not a problem sir....

[Willoby]

Great Barrier Reef? Monterey? Monastery Beach? Makena Beach, Kihei - nude body surfing? Vegas? A swim-up beach bar or underwater restaurant? Or metaphor so finely mastered. I feel like I have been there... Beautiful write!
Willoby

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Woo...
j.

[Willoby]

So you are keeping it a secret? lol!

[Neville]

audience or congregation... enjoyed as a poem in its own write.. I had searched high and low for God until I discovered the path I presently walk....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your understanding, Neville,
j.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Being drown in a fantasy of a beautiful imagination is something so pleasant as we journey through its fairy world which made up of beautiful things.
The protagonist in his voyage through imagination could see this clearly that what an eye rarely see, the mind sees perfectly.

Well written, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, Kay,
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

The first stanza's alliteration and suggestion of intoxication is a great opening. The sea and wave allegory may suggest feeling 'all at sea', out of control as nature sets the tempo. The sunshine submarines and moonshine mermaids provoke thoughts of fantasy and the finding of 'god' in the deep may be deep contemplation indeed Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful review, John,
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Picture the audience naked if you're speaking in public and think of Sunshine Superman. Anything regarding the sea appeals to me. We search for mermaids and some may even look for mermen... Aquaman was always a good comic...not sure about the movie since I haven't seen it yet.
The ocean is as good a place to find God as any. I'll be looking when I'm sitting on the beach at the Outer Banks in a couple of weeks.
Love seems to run with the current, strolling below the surface, hopefully not falling into the abyss.

A good write, j. I like it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, love your review..."SUnshine came softly through my window today"
and your review is a ray of it.
j.