Beached

Beached

 

 

sandcastle blue light

whimsical grains of splashed love

heart sadly crumbles

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/15/19

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

Love crumbles like that sandcastle you spent so much time on...lasting until wind and waves wash it away. I like it, j.
As opposed to that review from CLR9 who lives in Japan with the Japanese and writes pomes.

Takes all kinds I think. ;>{0}

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Ted,
j.

[Leslie Philibert]

Great poem, if I am not mistaken, a haiku, that gets all the technical bits right, and apart from that is , as always from Jacob, perfectly written.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

actually Senryu since it is not strictly about nature...thank you for your kind review, Leslie.
read moreactually Senryu since it is not strictly about nature...thank you for your kind review, Leslie.
j.

[CLR9]

Heart sadly crumbles. What a dumb line

[Shoshana]

....Honesty.... is the key.... right?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for the read and honest comment, CLR9....

j.

[Shoshana]

:) .............

[Chris Shaw]

Those sandcastles were always built in the knowledge that the tide would take them. I can remember that happiness of building them with my siblings. Hours and hours we played. I always went back the next day hoping for a miracle. I never got one. We can build our happiness only to have it taken from us with incredible ease. Lovely work.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, the next day they were gone...like relationships, but we have fun building them, don't we?
read moreyes, the next day they were gone...like relationships, but we have fun building them, don't we?
thank you, Chris,
j.

[Dave Brown]

precisely what happened to hours of labor, entering competitions, building sand sculptures only to watch them all wash away with my energy sadly crumbling alongside
But good memories

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Dave...yes, all our work in lots of areas can be washed away in an instant.
j.

[John the Baptist]

Well, sandcastles never were built to last, were they? Too many are gone after the first high tide. Oh, well, there's always tomorrow.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, as Scarlett O'Hara always said..."I'll worry about it tomorrow, after all, tomorrow is another day!"

thank you, John,
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Dusk settles over the now quiet beach as the tide rushes in and swamps the carefully crafted sculpture just like we build our ideas of idyllic love and happiness just to see them washed away!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words,
j.