the cliff of what if

the cliff of what if

 

 

 

tainted passage,

 

narrow focus on what you once were to me

 

i took the mountainous route,

 

the terrain impetuous

 

your love perilous,

 

                                    freefalling

 

 

echoes of your grin, tempestuous

 

as you watched me,

 

                                         watched me          watched me          watched me...

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/1/2020

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I did love this poem Jacob.
"freefalling
echoes of your grin, tempestuous
as you watched me"
The above lines. Good lines to open a song with. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Coyote,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Jacob.

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my ... the speaker describes his perspective but paints a steely cold heart of the "woman" ... sheesh! treacherous love indeed .. way to easy to slip on the cliffs .. loose rocks ... icy slopes .. killer poem says i!
E.
ps. if i ever met such a woman ... she hid it well from me ;) love and peace brother!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, E.
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I feel the angst of regret permeate this as the metaphor takes us on a journey to the summit only to watch the protagonist plunge to his doom. Effective and mesmerising as always Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, John,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

But you landed, and without broken bones, although you had a bruised heart. This was very visual and the watched me in triplicate at the ending works very well. It also gave me the chills that she watched you free fall. She could see it happening. Sometimes I think that is more cruel than walking away. Great piece Jacob.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Chris,
j.