What does the Writing Say

What does the Writing Say

 

tenements worn with grief

stricken walls

graffiti abounds in hapless, hopeless diction

 

poor streets

robotic souls walk stiffly

hands held out in prayer and plea

 

others glance quickly

keep empathy safely hidden

in frosted pockets

 

the coins are cold

as the hearts

numb toes fall to the curb

 

bits and pieces of humanity

one at a time,

and no one is going to market

 

just going home

God is waiting there,

with Heaven's space heater

 

to catch what's left

of them

when they arrive.

 

 

erin-cilberto

11/28/2020

Reviews

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

Much ado about, nothing. Nothing to eat. Nothing to share. No leader to lead the way. They must think "lead" means the soft, heavy, metal, soldering stuff. So, they just sit on their duff.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, those damn politicians and their homonyms....
thank you, sir.
j.

[Dave Brown]

It is such a depressing scenario all a person can do is laugh and I'm thinking that if there is a god waiting somewhere, he'll more than likely need a blast furnace (or two)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

he probably will, Dave...for sure.
thank you,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Everything about these lines is cold. Buildings and people alike. There is no warmth whatsoever. The life has been sucked out of both of them. If this is existence on this planet, the next part of the journey seems a better option. Depressing state of play.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, the life is being sucked out of all of us...
even my sense of humor which has gotten me through so many down times is being tested.
thank you, Chris.

[phill..m]

My review, I will use song titles which i feel fit the message of the poem. 1st Sound of silence.2nd Pink Floyd Money.3rd Tears for Fears Mad World and finally Fiction Factory Feels like Heaven. Each of the songs
have a echo of the poem within them. Regards, Phill.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Love those first two songs, not familiar with the other two....Oldies yes, newies, not quite.
Thank you, phill,
j.

[phill..m]

There is no age to music, j. Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons song Beggin released 1967 re released by Madcon-Beggin 2007 and my Kids thought it was so modern at the time. Phill.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Oh my yes, that song....the Seasons were on the downturn at the time...
But that song had really good drums.
Yes, these days both songs and movies are re-released by others...where is the creative spirit?

[Corset]

"just going home

God is waiting there,

with Heaven's space heater"

what if all souls did go to the solar flames , what if the bad souls are the fuel for flames eek! what if earth was heaven and the sun is hell and purgatory is waiting on the moon? would we be in such a hurry to run on home? lol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I think Purgatory might be a nice option..."To the moon, Alice!"
j.

[Corset]

Morning Ralph!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"You know it, and I know it, you know that I know!"
:)))))

[Corset]

thats cause we are know it alls, lolol jk

[andrew mitchell]

Anarchy, chaos , society breaking down comes to mind. When you see people texting while they walk, zombies do come to mind as they all look transfixed.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, I think the very same thing, andrew...zombies...
"She's not there"---

[andrew mitchell]

Exactly haha

[Einstein Noodle]

triggers a lot of thought and emotions in me ..
"keep empathy safely hidden
in frosted pockets" powerful jacob! love those lines ... poor streets .. and there are many of them .. very dangerous as well .. and full of trickery ... i don't believe the beggers on the corners holding signs ... there are too many safe places to help out and deliver hot meals, shelter and a hand up for those who will take it and do the work .... the tragedy i see in your poem is that a dystopian world begins within .. not the neighborhoods but within us people ... all those start scenes from too many movies on our last days, zombies and robots spring to mind .. deep thoughts this morning sir ... a bit of a wake up for me ... i slept almost normally last night and woke up almost feeling good .. steady .. and excited to go about the day .... ;)
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am glad you feel steady and excited, E.
Have a great day, and thanks for the words on the poem,
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

love and peace jacob ... :) love and peace ..

[emmajoy]

The writing on the wall.. .. ?

Such a bloodless, ice.packed piece of writing, j! Seems that is how life can be observed these days.. and similar in history long past. Emotions hidden, dying, life without meaning or aim; hope draining away, to each person his/her own slide into obscurity and worse.. if there is worse. What a frightening home truth.. what a tragedy. Fine writing but + oh so cruel.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, em...sorry to be cruel.
j.

[emmajoy]

The truth is, j, and ~ and that's how I should have worded my review's finish.