Caffeine Interference

Caffeine Interference

 

 

rainbows in my coffee

nicotine rain down my throat

the air is filled with circles

 

and the other cup has lipstick traces

and one untaken sip

ring at the bottom

 

once worn on finger

rainbows in my coffee

superfluous emotion

 

the cream and sugar arrogance

that left me cleaning up the morning dishes

cigarette burning alone

 

in the ashtray 

that is my life.

 

 

erin-cilberto

12/2/2020

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

Comes across as a grim morning after. Verses two and three give the impression the other was an ex. The cigarette burning alone and the ashtray tell the story of the outcome. Oh, well, there's always tomorrow.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

just like Scarlett O'Hara said..."after all, tomorrow is another day"--
thank you, John,
read morejust like Scarlett O'Hara said..."after all, tomorrow is another day"--
thank you, John,
j.

[Kelly Scheppers]

I didn't think you drank coffee...so I went ahead and read some of your replies. I love how you articulated the cigarettes and the "joe" together, stirring the memory of a love, like a spoon revolving.

Wishing you a very happy holiday season, Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

You are absolutely correct, no coffee...
thank you for your kind words, and Happy Holidays back at ya, Kelly.
j.

[Patricia]

Have you been taking a tour thru my head? I dread these memories for myself but really saddens me you have them as well but like me I’m sure they come and go as quickly as they are written. Really emotional write j. I love it

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your understanding review,
j.

[barleygirl]

This is a superb tangle of downward-spiraling imagery & somehow being coffee-tainted, it seems all the more an outrage of how these things oughta go! Your word-crafting bites, just like a nice bitter sip should (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Margie,
j.

[Midnight Baron ⚜&..]

Ah, an excellent piece of work. The imagery was quite clear. Relationships can be a rather rewarding or twisting affair. Write on my friend!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Fokkerstein.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

ring on the bottom
once worn on the finger

coffee and cigarette smoke and the ashtray of your life

your exes or at least one of them is coming back to haunt you. My eyes are smarting and the air is thick. These lines hang heavy like the smoke does. Visual and unsettling.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Chris.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

I didn't think you were a smoker, but somehow smoking is a powerful bit of imagery here. The ashes in the ashtray...only one cigarette now. Lots of emotion between the lines...and anger. About an ex wife perhaps? Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh used to be a smoker...not for many years now...and don't drink coffee either...but they make for good props to write with...
thank you for your words, Lydi...
Maybe a combination of exes.
j.

[VJWild]

I love poems about coffee for some reason. The line cream and sugar arrogance is catchy.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, VJ.
j.

[Dave Brown]

I'm on a sip trip myself