Iced type

Iced type

 

 

several winters deep

i tripped on a snow-slide-sentiment

 

Cold shoulder

tightly pursed lips

cursing my existence

 

from autumn's womb

emerging was the mistake

 

and then you smiled

the great melting began

tears ran 

 

where woods crept

among shadows 

ex collaborators

 

who never wrote poems with me

just against me

on those torrid summer nights

 

as the clocks sprang forward

in retrospect

 

and you stepped out of my dream

into a mudslide

as my tears carried you away

 

a foreboding current

unleashed

 

i am still trying to catch my balance.

 

 

erin-cilberto

12/11/2020

Reviews

[Lorry]

There is the voice of a man who knows tripping on snow slide sentiment. I myself foolishly put it down to temporary snow blindness of a fresh fall, but after doing that very same thing myself as well as watching others tumble, I do believe it is the action of hunching shoulders against the wind, hands flying into pockets and the fervent wish you were indoors, that releases images of past hugs into our mind to distract us long enough for the inevitable a*s meeting ground to take centre stage.
I'm still working on why it keeps happening to me indoors too though 😊

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like how you get the metaphors...thank you, Lorry,
j.

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

Wow... So many poetic gems here. Your way with poetic expression is masterful! Truly someone to learn from, thank you for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for that very kind comment, Travis.
j.

[Wórdsmíth]

She often steps out of one's dreams, more specifically when she doesn't find her space in there anymore. That's what experience taught me. Not sure how true it is &/or how wrong i am on this. Theory. Or mere assumptions.

Happy X-mas to you & your family, J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your insightful response, Wordsmith, and Happy X-mas to you as well.
j.

[Sami Khalil]

"from autumn's womb

emerging was the mistake



"and then you smiled

the great melting began"

[Sami Khalil]

"as the clocks sprang forward

in retrospect



and you stepped out of my dream

into a mudslide"

[Sami Khalil]

A cold story unfolds in your sad story sir Jacob. Temperature indicators are the telltale signs of a successful or failed relationships. Powerful imagery throughout. May it be a solace to the narrator in hard times.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Sami,
j.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome sir Jacob.

[Relic]

Your last lines always summarize and compliment each poem, catching the reader and making them think for a moment what they just read and how it relates.

Another good one, J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Relic,
j.