Song

Song

 

 

the deep blue water

mesmerizes the submerged heart

fantasizing of peculiar nature

she is the shimmering sun on the waves

 

platitudes cut through the surface

white capped azure

the coral invites

she declines

 

he plays a sad melody

on the ivories

swims apart

from his senses

 

the rain surfs

she kisses his keys

now hooked on the notes

of his advance

 

 

maybe there is poetry to be had

if she writes him

in captions

and the volume is soft.

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/18/24

Reviews

[Patricia Wedel]

He plays a soft tune 🎶 on the Ivories… a Key in Time is so Romantic 💘… tenderly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Pat...I think it would be such a trip to sit and visit with you sometime.
j.

[Mauricio Montoya]

Wow song but under water for a heart to be warm Angel that brings the sun to realize it love within its music comes to shout the calm, thank you for sharing

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Shout the calm....heard over the mountaintops.
Thank you, Mauricio.
j.

[emmajoygreen]

Poetry slowly, thoughtfully finding its way to that final stanza - that prayed for destination, so seems.

'maybe there is poetry to be had
if she writes him
in captions
and the volume is soft.'

Poetry to sigh to! (poor grammar but.. )

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, em.
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

beautifully emotive .. deeply blue and like a wind song .. funny thing, big J. .. i googled to find the meaning of wind song and everything that came up was a song .. you didn't know you could sing did you, my friend? mighty fine read for me
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I don't sing very well...I hope my writing is better than how I sound singing.
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ......................

[Arundass TP]

Beautiful words... Mesmerizing

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank You, Arundass,
j.

[willweb]

Funny how music can have that effect on people, and often bring about a poetic feeling that may or may not be real, but sure does feel that way. Wonderfully creative Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, will,
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

This one is so full of metaphor and simile....so clever!!! "she" never swims too far away from your pen, that's for sure. There is always poetry to be had, my friend. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lydi,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

The shimmering sun on the waves is a delight, it uplifts a sinking spirit. This is a poem of hope and a beautiful one too. I read it as a love poem. Your muse has served you well with this gorgeous piece j.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you so much for your kind words, Chris,
j.

[Daydreamer]

Dear friend, It is always a delight to log into this forum and read your work from time to time. This piece and all your work is a true treasure on this platform. Be well.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

You are very kind to say that, Daydreamer.
j.