Inner Light

Calling this another of her well-deserved retreat, a brief stay in this remote, countryside resort serves to calm a portion of her unnerving emotions despite considerable regrets remain unattended to. After punching over ten times on a variety of buttons to switch from one television channel to the next, Angela found herself devoid of interest to keep up with her aimless cravings. She announces defeat and heads over to the coffee counter for a much-needed instant hot drink. Nevertheless, instinctively tipping the powdery contents of the opened coffee packet into the cup, she paused and hesitated. Only non-dairy creamer is available, which sends her thoughts back to the numerous past moments when she had to endure cups after cups of unsweetened coffee while waiting for him to show up during their dates. Spaced-out over those untouchable memories, the creamer unknowingly fell from her tight grip. To which she responds with a fit of agitation. Getting down on her knees to carefully sweep aside the mess created with her bare hands, she ends up overly frustrated by her own weak will. She is still not capable of letting go of those worthless bygones. Her palms now all filthy, she lifts them up to her eye-level. Reflecting on the current pitiful state she plunges herself into, she gives in to fleeting wonders. This costly suite she has paid for her own use, as many as five pieces of heavy luggage she brought along with her and the carefully-selected cutesy summer dress she now wears all speaks of how much she tries to get over the miserable conclusion of a short-lived relationship. Quite lost, she naturally stares at nowhere in order to get in touch with a resolution. In less than a minute, Angela pulls herself together to brush off all dirt from her clothes and hands.

"That's it! Don't you ever dare meddle with the rest of my life again!" she declares and stands to her feet. Tying her neat braid into a bun with a bright-golden band, she walks away from the counter towards the open window.

She sighs upon being greeted by the view of a picturesque, blue sky displayed high and wide before her. She now knows that she had missed out on a whole lot all this while. The past few months had blindfolded and dunk her into a deep, boundless underwater-world where she could hardly reach up for a little gasp of fresh air. Her perception of everything all around was filtered through and through, choking her senses to deadly suffocation. Thus, she would not let herself succumb any further, now that she has touched down on the surface of clarity.

Her earnest gaze affixed on the towering sky above, she gets to re-experience the rare top-of-the-world kind of feeling. The refreshing blues revitalising her modest field of vision, she gathers that she can paint an inspiring art over the endless piece of canvas stretched out far and wide beyond her reach. Her imaginations open themselves up as she breathes hard. Every beat of her heart begins to dance to the rhythm of the breathtaking 'aurora borealis' in her mind's eye, ever sincerely captivating and soulful. She shuts her eyes, the cooling breeze re-energising her unblemished youth in the midst of a shifting, deeply-unsettling world. Catching up with the wonders of the universe's majestic hues, Angela discerns the enchanting trails of red, green and blue in the vast expanse of infinite space laid out before her. The enthralling shades from above charm her every senses, gratifying her inner visual appetite to the brim. She slowly reaches up with her thin finger to draw out the artistic flashes of the mystically-alluring Northern Lights, circling the dreamy Arctic realm with each playful flick. If among all matters in the world, 'Love' is the single, greatest, most elusive object, always fleeing every attempt of her wish to grasp it fully and firmly within life's invisible boundaries, then this marvellous scenic feast for her introverted nature more than compensates her dashed longings. The passionate, dynamic reds, oranges and yellows still faithfully registered in her flight of fancy speak of her ever-undying, spirited quest for achievements and perfection, unceasingly surmounting over obstacles thrown randomly into her paths...The greens fuel her desire for peace and harmony with nature, time's greatest philosopher...Their serene touch inspires her hidden, long-kept gifts of creativity...Luminuous blues and purples account for the defence of purity and strength to surpass the bleak outlook clouding her helpless circumstance at present. Reaching into her pockets, she grabs hold of her pair of earphones and stuffs them into her ears. Her heart thrills as those fabulous colours of lights leap along in a lively pace the instant she hits the 'play' button. Nothing ever so mood-lifting crosses her way until now and she decides that fantasy never lingers for no apparent reason. It effectively loosens her pent-up griefs and hurts to be scattered into the dimensions of emptiness. The tempting, melodious Nordic flute music resounding right now against her ears soothes her soul immensely.

Somehow, she is grateful for having such a time-out. Like the ramps put up along a 30-speed-limit road, she admits that they are necessary and befitting for her after a long roller-coaster ride down one relentless highway filled with unstoppable raging tempest. And crossroads too are priceless when it comes to exploring all your possibilities and choices in life. All things pop up at their opportune time just when situations rightfully require them. Angela opens her eyes once more, this time, to cherish the dawn of an appealing, restored new beginning. Her own 'aurora' is not going to let her down anymore, for she knows there is a purpose within herself that guides her responsibly to the next step, and all there is afterwards.

Resting her light arms on the window sill, she whispers as the wind caressess her tenderly fair, baby-soft skin, "Light of the world, I will be still and know that you are always sticking by me at all times, in all places for sure...I...love ya!"