Coach

I wrote this story for a contest over a year ago. See if you can figure out what the requirement was for the story.

Two people got on the nearly empty bus, after I did. As they sat down, they continued a conversation they were having. I couldn't help but eavesdrop.

 

"You got suckered into coaching Charlie's baseball team?"

 

"Suckered is too strong a word. How about roped into it? My cousin, Glen is assistant coach. He's a by-the-book kind of guy. To coin a phrase, he can crack the whip!"

 

"So, what's it like?"

 

"Well, we have thirteen boys and one girl. Most of them can cut the mustard, except one boy, who couldn't hit the side of a barn. Sometimes, at practice, the girl has hit it out of the park."

 

"Didn't you just have your first game? How did it go?"

 

"You really want to hear about it?"

 

I willed the friend to say yes. This was getting interesting!

 

"Yeah, go on, tell me everything."

 

"Well, I woke Charlie up at 8:00. That kid sleeps deader than a doornail! Up and at 'em, Charlie, the early bird gets the worm! When he only opened one eye and moaned, I told him to curb his enthusiasm."

 

"You're so sarcastic!"

 

"I am, aren't I? Anyway, I told Charlie he better not wake up on the wrong side of the bed, today of all days. That's when he became all ears."

 

He opened his eyes wide and said, "Today's the day we kick some a*s, right?"

 

I told him that that was true, but he better not let his Grandma hear him talk like that or she'd clean both our clocks! I told him to come down to breakfast, even though it was probably cold but, better late than never."

"Charlie can eat like a horse yet, he's skinny as a rail! It drives me crazy, when just looking at food makes my waist expand an inch."

 

"As we sat at the table, my stomach was tied in knots. I cleared my throat and told Charlie to remember that there is no "I" in the word team."

"You know what he said?"  He spouted, "I know, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game."

 

"I told him he could get that s**t eating grin off his face, but then, I cracked up, too!"

 

"I've seen that grin of his!"

 

"Right! Well, at nine o'clock on the button, Glen rang the doorbell. He asked me how it was hanging and I told him that we were good to go.

The bad thing about having a cousin know you so well, is that he looked at me and said, "You look all worked up. What's up? A penny for your thoughts."

 

"Hell, Glen, I just don't want to make an a*s out of myself. I don't want to let the kids down."

 

Glen told me to take it easy, that it was going to be as easy as pie. He said, "Let's take the bull by the horns, go to the park and win a game!"

 

I told him, "Yeah, it's a piece of cake." I just hoped it wasn't cocoanut cake. I hated cocoanut.

 

I yelled at Charlie to get the lead out and we piled into the van. Glen told me that I'd better put the pedal to the metal or we would be a day late and a dollar short. I didn't want to drive like a bat out of hell, but we did have to pick up several of the other boys.

 

When we were almost to the park, I couldn't take all the noise in the back of the van anymore. I yelled, "For crying out loud, will you boys quit horsing around?"

 

"Suddenly, you could have heard a pin drop. To complete the picture, Charlie looked like he was going to cry crocodile tears. Oh, this was par for the course! I tried to lighten up and winked at Charlie. He smiled at me. That kid has a big heart!"

 

"Yeah, he's always been a sweet kid."

 

"Are you sure you want to hear the rest?'

 

"I'm all ears!"

 

"Okay."

 

We piled out of the van and went to our dugout. Glen said, "There's Bill, the other team's coach. He's a legend in his own mind."

 

A father to one of the kids called me over to him. At first, he was just shooting the breeze, but then he started telling me how to coach. So I told him, "Look, you wouldn't put your money where your mouth is and coach this team, so put a cork in it!" I walked away.

 

"What did he do then?"

 

"Oh, Glen and I heard him tell his wife that Coach had a bug up the a*s! Glen didn't say anything-sometimes silence is golden!"

 

"After both teams warmed up, I told our team that it's now or never. Do or die. No pain, no gain! Our first batter came up and all of a sudden, I couldn't remember his name. It was on the tip of my tongue. Glen saved me by saying, Knock it out of the park, Sammy!"

 

"Our second batter, Dan, was still in the dugout. "Hey, Dan," I yelled, "Quit twiddling your thumbs and get on deck!"

 

He looked a bit queasy, but said, "Okay, Coach."

 

"Sammy hit the first pitch and took off like a shot. He made it to second safely."

 

The bus was nearing my stop and I really wanted to hear the end of this conversation. I made up my mind to go past my stop, if I had to.

 

"I told Dan to keep his head in the game and try to get a piece of it but, the pitcher made mincemeat out of him. Three pitches, three strikes. I told him to keep his chin up; he'd hit it next time. Tom came up and singled. Sammy, given free reign, made it to third. That kid is a diamond in the rough. Charlie was up next. I wasn't showing favoritism when I made him cleanup batter. He's got game and gives one hundred per cent!"

 

"How did he do?"

 

"I'll be a monkey's uncle, if he didn't slam it over the fence! Three runs! The look on Charlie's face was a Kodak moment. I looked over at the other team's coach, who by the way, was a dead ringer for Telly Savalas. He didn't look like a happy camper."

 

"As the game wore on, everything was coming up roses. By the ninth inning, we had cleaned their clock! I was pretty excited, but I'm the coach, so I acted as smooth as sliced bread. The father, who had tried to tell me how to coach, approached me, saying, "That's getting behind the eight ball!"

 

I replied, "Bite me." I turned to the team and said, "Pizza's on me!"

 

In one voice those kids yelled, "Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate?"

"Coach Charlotte!"

 

"Holy cow, those kids are loud!"

 

 

 

Reviews

[Diane Lockard]

I have a saying for every occasion, so I feel right at home... I enjoy stories telling what goes on in everyday life, and the "trials and tribulations."

Fun story!!

[Barbara Walker]

Thank you Diane!

[Craig2591]

Cool story! And yes, the ending took me by surprise!

Did you have a dictionary of sayings next to you while you wrote this?

[Barbara Walker]

Thank you, Craig! And yes, I did!

[Marie]

I think the requirement for this story was that you put as many cliches as possible in it. You did a good job.

[Barbara Walker]

You're absolutely correct, Marie! Thank you for the review!

[Cole Hayley]

First story I've read from you I believe and its a great one! Keep it up : )

[Barbara Walker]

You're right Cole! I only have a few on here. Thank you for the review!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good ending to the story. I like the conversation on the bus. I like the description of the kids and Coach Charlotte was cool. Winning always fix problems. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote