New York City

This is a short story I wrote inspired by the photograph with it.

He gave me a glimpse of everything I'd ever wanted; no, everything I'd ever needed. 

There was excitement, booze, crowds, and life. From his every side and corner, he was perfect. Often, the words that escaped his mouth were filled with profanity and brutality; but I liked it. Something about the way he'd say the word 'f**k' sent shivers down by spine and back, and I couldn't grasp the concept as to why. Every few minutes, there was something new going on. He was abundantly spontaneous, and it was different. Most of the time, people say different is bad; and usually, I am one of those people. Yet this was a good different; the kind of different a mother would feel the first time holding her child or the kind of different a brand-new adult gets when they can legally buy wine without needing a fake ID. 

He was wonderful, he was rude, he was classy; he was New York City. 

Reviews

[Patrick Henry]

I Love this!! When one dreams of the city, but does not picture themselves in it, it makes me think the WHY more than anything else. You don't seem to. You write as though this city is a destination of a goal that was practiced in your early years and Faith already has designs on it. So beautiful to be able to relate such gorgeous little runs, like the first sentence and then have it lead on into the next with this curious mystery of wanting to pull the covers back to see what is hiding. I don't have to. I just have to read the next line!! lol Sentences that have something like this "brutality; but I liked it", where a semi-colon replaces words like "and, but, and nor/yet" just means that most might not pick up on it and they matter very little in the end!! I'm cool with the puncts, spelling is sot on, and I'm even cooler with the authorship of constructing a rare story that comes off as a poem, and even a prologue of a movie about to start. What is there NOT to like?! *Big Hugzz* xoxo -Your Mark

[Daydreamer54]

I ike it because it sounds like spmething you would read from a literary novel. It's about how a person could view a life they never seen before. Wonderful wirte!

[Faith]

Thank you!

[Emrick]

Great creativity.

[Faith]

Thank you!

[Sarah]

Hey Faith, since stories are my thing (and you accepted my other review) I decided to critique this one as well.

I honestly only have a few notes:
...Something about the way he'd say the word 'f**k' sent shivers down by spine and back, and I couldn't grasp the concept as to why...
(There are words in here that don't need to be repeated twice. "down "my" (I'm pretty sure it is) spine and back." Spine and back are pretty much the same thing. Maybe if you want to keep "spine and "something" change it to "spine and neck" or "spine and arms")
...Yet this was a good different; the kind of different a mother would feel the first time holding her child or the kind of different a brand-new adult gets when they can legally buy wine without needing a fake ID...
(All I can say for this sentence is maybe split it up. "the kind of different a mother would feel the first time holding her child; the kind of different..." or use a period and start a new sentence or "the kind of different a mother would feel the first time holding her child or the feeling a brand-new adult gets when...")

These are mere suggestions, but I feel they would benefit.

As for this piece as a whole: fantastic! I really got the sense of New York City: "Often, the words that escaped his mouth were filled with profanity and brutality; but I liked it." To be honest I felt that it was more of the New York City night life based on this sentence "There was excitement, booze, crowds, and life."
Excellent personification!
With love,
Sarah

[Faith]

Hi, I just realised I hadn't read this review of yours! Thanks so much for both the creative criticism and compliments!!

[JoeyLliso]

Faith,

You're boggling me with this writing. The manner in which you relate the city to a man. For a second I thought you were talking about a man. And you very well may be. It's just in the author's best interests to tell those type of secrets to the tombstone. I like the analogy as well as the free form. Keep it up!

Thanks for sharing,
Joey

[Faith]

Joey,

Once again, thank you so much for the lovely review! Am I talking about a man, or am I talking about New York City? We'll never know!

Faith

[JoeyLliso]

Faith, I honestly don't think it is necessary a reader know the intention of the writer in some regards. It is the readers prerogative to connect the dots however they may, because everyone comes from different backgrounds with differing experiences. But yes. You are right. We'll never know. Unless you tell us! :)

Joey

[Faith]

Perhaps if I decide to change this into a full-length story I may have to uncover whether this is about a city or a man- But until then, silence!

[JoeyLliso]

Well if you plan on doing that then do it. But this right now is an idea. Maybe one day you may decide to take it further. Though I think its killer how it is. I'm not the author though. I'm one man. You make your decision but I would love to see what you would do with it if you made it longer.