The test

chapter 1 of Magicals

When I feel for my blanket to pull up around my head I only feel the mattress. I open my eyes fully, blinking as the bright sunlight filters in through the old curtains. I pick up my blanket back up from the ground and wrapped it around me.The old room comforts me, the fading yellow wallpaper, the old blue curtains, my fancy dresser, and my raggedy old quilt. My room has always been simple, a dresser, a bed, a nightstand, and a bookshelf filled with books and trinkets. I shiver dreading the day ahead of me. Today are the tests. Its not a normal test, it’s a test to see if you are a magical. They have the tests when you turn 13, which is supposedly when you are officially dangerous if you're a witch or wizard. I don't really understand why they don't like the magical people, Supposedly they’re dangerous. But I don’t ever question it, and I’m sure It’s for the best.
Magic is illegal in Caerulum, the only civilized city.
We were taught in school that to never trust magical people, there were folktales of them coming in the night and turning all the children in villages into soup.
I don't believe that anymore.
We were also taught that there are full villages of them, and if we stumble into the we were told to run and tell others. Of course it’s impossible to run into one because the city of Caerulum is surrounded by a giant concrete wall. And no one has ever left.
My families house is at the edge of the wall. Infact up against the wall. We don't live in the nicest of neighborhoods, but we get by. Rebels have graffitied the wall and broken a few windows, so It degrades the look of our neighborhood even more.Our house is a tall skinny house crammed in between others. It looks as if it is about to fall over though. I like our house though, the oldness of it makes me feel safe.
I suddenly start thinking of being a witch, But I can't, I’ve never had anything unusual happen to me.
I know i’m not a witch, but it’s still very nerve racking.
What if i am a witch?
Of course I know i'm not. I will probably continue living my life. I don’t go to the university because it’s too expensive, I inherit my parent's fabric shop, and I live a normal life. I have always enjoyed the fabric shop though. The smell of the candles and dust. It is very small and cramped. It is right next to a bakery, so it always smells good. I hear my mother knocking on the door calling me to breakfast.
“Coming.” I call back.
I slip reluctantly out of bed and into my clothes. The fabric warms my body as i dress into it. I’m not hungry, but I go downstairs anyway. I can’t miss this test, no matter what.
This time i don't slide down the banister of the spiral-staircase as usual, I walk down slowly with a pit in my stomach. I walk into the cramped kitchen and sat down at our round wooden table.
“You know you won’t be tested as magical dear.” My mother says as she slips a plate of toast in front of me.
“I know.” I say as I prod at my toast with my fork.
“I’m just checking. You seem a little nervous.”
“Well I’m not.” I mumble as I finally start to nibble my toast.
After I finish the first piece, I stand up, neglecting the second piece of toast.  I grab a old lunch pail and throw in an apple and a nut bar. I secretly grab a cookie as a reward for when I get my non-magical test result. I hope my parents won’t notice. Cookies are only for very important occasions. Even they are stale, and grainy.
“Bye, I’ll see you at the showing.” I call out to my parents as I throw my lunch pail into my faded satchel.
“Good Luck!” they both call
I rush out the door.
Our neighborhood is at the edge of a small park, where nicer houses are laid out closely together. I walk a little while until I reach the bus stop.
After a few minutes the bus screeches to a halt in front of me. The door creaks open in front of me. Other nervous 13-year-olds bustle into the bus pushing me aside.
I wonder who will be tested as positive for a test today.
“Hey! Nervous?” Maggie runs up to me nudging my shoulder.
“Yeah.” I say fingering my brown satchel slung over my shoulder.
We hop onto the bus and find an empty seat.
The ride over is unusually silent, with small conversations going on.
“So, who do think will be picked?” Maggie asks.
We do this every year but it’s always been older kids, now it’s us.
“Umm...maybe her.” I say pointing to a slim girl shaking. I’m not paying much attention though.
The bus stops at a richer neighborhood and a few kids jump on. I notice none of them seem to be worried.
“No, i think it’s..”she pauses, and I see a brief moment of fear, which I have never seen in her.”I think him.” She points to a calm looking boy.
“Him?”
“Yes, Him.”
For the rest of the ride i wonder why in that one moment Maggie seemed fearful, she’s never afraid. I shake my head, she’s probably nervous just like i am.
I distract myself by looking out the window. We have reached the main street which is lined with shops and apartments. Over the large road a banner hangs saying
“Test day”
Nothing really exciting. I guess it’s not exactly a happy event.
At the end of the road is the school; a large golden domed building with children rushing about and playing games. Next to the school is the university which is 5 times bigger with scholars walking neatly in order infront of the building and tall spires. And next to the university is the capital the largest building of the them all, with large pillars and many domes.  

When we arrive at school we file into an orderly line immediately for the tests. The line is long, so I take out a book and read. It is a book I have read  so many times over and over. It’s about a girl who lives in a world where magicals don’t exist. She befriends a dragon and becomes a queen. It is the closest thing you can get to having magic in books. Which is also banned. I wonder how the Caerulum alliance sorts through all the books in the enormous library to find the one’s containing magic. Another thing I find is strange is that there are no history books. I used to ask my parents questions like that. They never answered, and always got really angry. I have learned not to ask stupid and rebellious questions like that anymore.
Maggie is unusually silent. There is a cool breeze outside of the school so it isn’t very uncomfortable. After awhile I put down my book just after the part where the main character has to flee her kingdom, and watch the scholars taking in polite voices and carefully writing on sheets of paper.
I will never be like that. Money is too tight. Anyway it looks boring.
My future has already been planned. Like so many other’s.
I spend the next hour scribbling down scenes from my book. I rip one good drawing out and stuff it in my pocket. I go back to reading my book for a few minutes, until I notice it’s Maggie’s turn.
She leaves without saying anything.
A long ten minutes passes by. I study my math homework. Finally Maggie emerges and leaves for the showing room where she will see her test results. Her face is as pale as a sheet. Is maggie a magical? I try hard not to think of that.
It’s my turn.
I walk swiftly into the room and sit down in a chair.
“Set your bag here.” She points to the corner. I do as she says.
“You must be Rose Esterson?”
“Yes.” I relply weakly.
There is a nurse preparing a needle. My heart thumps, and I shiver goes up my spine.
I’ve never had a shot before. Only the rich can afford them.
She flips a switch and the lights dim.
“This may hurt a little.” a nurse says as she injects a needle into me.  I squeeze my eyes shut and hope It doesn’t hurt. I cringe a little but it’s not that bad.
This needle will make me forget the test. They do this so you can’t tell anyone the right answers. The Caerulum alliance always plans ahead.
“Ok, only one more.” She takes out another needle.
This one hurts even more. I start to feel my eyes drift upwards. Please let me pass the test. That is all that is going through my head. I try to stay awake but her soothing voice tells me to go to sleep. I sag my shoulders and relax my body
And almost immediately go to sleep.

I awake to the noise of the nurse’s voice, “Wake up.”
I slowly get up feeling woozy. The lights are back to their usual brightness
“Do you need any help?”
“No” I stumble out of the room and out into the hallway. The injection still seems as if it hasn’t worn off. All the doors seem to be large mouths trying to swallow me. I take a few turns, and soon feel as if I’m in a maze.The walls close in on me, I gasp and stumble into an open door, and find myself in the teachers lounge.
“What are you doing here?” asks one of the teachers.
“Um..I was looking for the showing room.”
I hear the teachers laughing. My face turns bright pink.
“Here let me help you.” My teacher assists me the rest of the way to the showing room.
On the way I ask her if she thinks I’m a witch. She responds with exactly what i don’t want to hear.
“I don’t know.” But she smiles at me reassuringly.

The showing room is a large auditorium, with a giant screen is planted on the stage. I shuffle to where the rest of the kids are. The tested kids go in the front and behind them are the parents, and behind the parents are a few scholars recording as always. One glances at me and writes down a note. My stomach does a somersault.
I spot my parents and wave. They wave back, smiling weakly. My eyes linger on them for awhile. MY father has his face stuffed in a book, but his eyes seem to be elsewhere, and my mother is fumbling with her skirt. I guess I’m not the only nervous one here. A few guards stand posted by the sides of the stage, eyeing everyone in their sight.  Everything seems so menacing.
It takes half-an-hour for everyone to finish their testing, and by that time all the parents and already tested students were fidgeting in their seats and growing weary. I spend most of that time thinking.
I spot maggie across the row from me, her face is still pale. I notice the principle walk slowly out onto the stage.
“Attention Everyone!”Our principle clears his throat, “This is a very big day as you know, that your children have been waiting for all their lives.” He stops to catch his breath. “ Now lets stop the jibber-jabber and get going!” He laughs merrily and wobbles his large body off the stage.
How could he be so happy when he knew someone was going to be dragged away to who-knows-where accused of being a witch or wizard.
the audience claps a little as he walks away. I feel almost nauseous. I never liked Principle Richards. He sits down in a chair to the side of the stage and begins to read off the names. The first name is:
“Amelia Ableton: Non magical.” A few people clap, and her friends hug her as sighs of relief come from her parents. I watch her body relax as she stays in her seat.
Then,
“Adam Adler: Non magical.” Again a few people clap, and his friends give him a thumbs-up.
it goes on like this for awhile parents breathing sighs of relief, and people clapping.
So far no magicals. I end up losing track of time, how many people have gone up?
20, 30, 50?
Finally it’s almost Maggie’s and my turn. I clap weakly for everyone who is called up.
“Madge Lauren:Non magical.”  Again, claps, but no one hugging her, and no one sighing with relief She probably is from the orphanage. Finally It’s Maggie’s turn. My heart thumps. Is she a witch, isn’t she? Finally I hear the principal's voice ring out harshly across the stage,
“Maggie Pastel:Magical.”

Author's Note

sorry it might be a little long :)

Reviews

[bean60]

Good story! I like this and want to see where you are going with this.
There are some issues I see, but they are mostly punctuation and editing things that can be taken care of easily.
One place you say your face turns bright pink - you wouldn't know that. Might be better if you say you feel your face getting warm, or hot, etc. Something like that.
Is Rose 13; you mention she isn't going to university, but they test at 13, just need a little clarification of that issue. Maybe say she won't be going to university.

A little more reaction of some other magicals, if any, might be appropriate. Their parents?

This isn't long for a chapter, actually; it's pretty normal for a chapter in a book. What age is your book being written for? Or did I miss that?

[Luna Valentine]

thanks for the advice. My book is being written for teens. Is that a good age for my book?

[bean60]

Perfect age; I have a 16 year old granddaughter. I think she would love it.

[AlanIsEnough]

Hi Luna.

I enjoyed reading your story. I think it could be more interesting if you told us about the world of the book through a story or conversation that happens to the girl. Instead of just describing how it all works.

Like maybe when we meet her she's scrubbing graffiti off her mothers window and the graffiti says something like 'destroy the wall', maybe...

I just think it could be a more interesting start.

Well done.

(i just posted my first chapter too!) ;)

[VincentRayne]

the length is actually average for a chapter so that's not an issue. I could feel the tension building up but feel that when it got to the climax of the chapter, it came too quickly. there should be a little more description of people's reactions as the names were called out. to add more to tension and suspense. that's just my personal take on it.