In this darken room ,I dream of you.

Being in love with a guy who is withs someone that makes you sick.

In this darken room I dream of you.

I dream of the death and misfortune of the one

Who stole you from me.

Im at same time wishing to be her.

Cuz she is with you,stole your heart.

I'll be the cause of her death.

Why cant I be with you.

Girl who stole my true away.

Never to return.

Griving over the memories we shared.

My heart jumps in pain when I here your voice.

Especialy when she makes you happy.

She makes me throw up abit.

Making me gag .

Nasty tast fills my mouth.

I dream of reliefe from the pain.

I relive myself with a knife through the heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

ignore grammer problems.please.

Reviews

[Aldora Sparrow]

Ooooh, I love the pain and extreme anger that is conveyed through the sharp words of the writer. I shiver a little haha.

It was a little hard to read at first because of some gramattical errors. Such as
"Im at same time wishing to be her." I think this work better as "At the same time, I am wishing to be her" for a little more coherency. Some places like "Cuz she is with you,stole your heart" could be "'Cause she is with you, stealing your heart" and "Why cant I be with you?" with some punctuation. Some misspelled words made it a little hard as well "[Grieving] over the memories we shared","My heart jumps in pain when I [hear] your voice" "Nasty [taste] fills my mouth" "I dream of relief from the pain.""Girl who stole my true [love] away."

Apart from the grammatical errors and some problems with coherency, this is a really amazing poem because of its frankness. The want to hurt the girl that stole your love. I really admire that you can just be so upfront and really describe the intense hate for that girl. Nice work and keep it up!

[Aurora Night]

I love it. The reader can really feel the sense of hate in the poem and grief. Of the poems i have read this is one of my favorites. Great job writing this piece. Keep up the great work.

[Sseoni]

Cool poem! Once again, another wonderful poem full of emotion! I really liked this one! :D

[Fanciful Goddess]

Not my best in my opinion.