I Am Not Afraid

I am not afraid anymore. I won't do this to myself any longer.

Fear.
She is still haunted by dreams
Dark dreams of mutilation
Filled with scars and blood
A dream of fear and longing

Dream.
She is in a dark room
Razor blades surround her
Her skin itches for the sting of the blade
Her blood long for more

More.
One more rush of adrenaline
One more horizontal cut
she longs to feel the burn of the razor
the exhale of relief at numbess conquered

Numb.
She feels it everywhere
Feeling nothing but want
Numb to the world around her
Feeling no pleasure, only fear

Fear.
She is not afraid anymore
She won't do that to herself any longer
Woken, she feels the joy of the sun on her skin
She is not afraid

Author's Note

kind of Ellen Hopkins inspired.