Insecurity at its Finest

Insecurity at its Finest

A Poem by Jane Doe

Insecurity at its finest

You hold me down 
I'll never live
Your wrapped around my throat 
I'm beginning to choke

The way your eyes see through me 
You'll never let me be
Your holding me down
Your killing me slowly
Please just let me be

You hold me down 
I will never live
Your wrapped around my throat I'm beginning to choke
Please just let me go

Stop don't go
Don't leave me on my own
I'm beginning to choke
Help me face my demons
It just takes believing 
Just hold on 
Never let me go

You hold me down 
I will never live
Your wrapped 
Around my throat
I'm beginning to
To choke

© 2012 Jane Doe


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Featured Review

Awesome!! You got your point across without blatantly stating it! Brava!!

It seems like the person in this story is being strangled under the control of someone, yet they enjoy it and are scared to go on without it, because they are so used to it... Very nice. You slowly unraveled these feelings too, which played very nicely through the piece.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Abbigale your is You're as in you are. I will look at this and get back to you.

Posted 11 Years Ago


John Alexander McFadyen

11 Years Ago

You hold me down
I will never be free
You’re wrapped
Around my throat
A.. read more
John Alexander McFadyen

11 Years Ago

Yup like that better as the final stanza. What do you think?
John Alexander McFadyen

11 Years Ago

Insecurity at its finest

You hold me down
I'll never live free,
You’re.. read more
The first word that comes to my mind when I read this is Prosecution. I feel like this person, whomever it is, is attacking you relentlessly, but maybe at the same time, you want that person to stay and love you? The fourth stanza is a little confusing. I'm not sure if you're talking about the same person strangling you, or another person who you want to come and save you. I love that your first and last stanzas are almost identical, portraying the same message. I think with a little pronoun tweek and clarification in the fourth stanza, this piece would be flawless. I've read a few of your pieces now, and they all have the same raw power driving them from the beginning to the end. I enjoy your work, and I can relate to a lot of it due to past life experiences. I think that your words could really help someone someday if they come across your work like I have. Brilliantly done.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Jane Doe

11 Years Ago

Fourth stanza is wanting help not necessarily saying one person
Awesome!! You got your point across without blatantly stating it! Brava!!

It seems like the person in this story is being strangled under the control of someone, yet they enjoy it and are scared to go on without it, because they are so used to it... Very nice. You slowly unraveled these feelings too, which played very nicely through the piece.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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3 Reviews
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Added on September 9, 2012
Last Updated on September 9, 2012

Author

Jane Doe
Jane Doe

FL



About
I miss the way words would flow out on to a page and express my deepest concerns so I have returned. more..

Writing