Dreams

Dreams

A Poem by Jane Doe

Close your eyes,

Tell me what you want to be,

The things you have planned out,

Tell me how the future looks so I can glance and see.

 

Tell me how you will make the mountains move,

The current still, from its rigid form,

Tell me when its all going to happen,

Cause I know you are indecisive and torn.

 

I know you are unsure of yourself,

But I am puzzled as to why you are,

You're beautiful and smart,

Thus is a prophecy that you will go far.

 

You will touch the sky,

Befriend the brightest stars,

Fall down and rise again,

You will set new standards, new goals, and new bars.

 

You will help the helpless,

Find solutions in the brink of time,

You can do it,

I have faith in you, for you are mine.

 

My reflection, I am you,

We will not fail as we once believed,

We have our dreams,

But not for long, for soon they will be achieved.

© 2013 Jane Doe


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Featured Review

Wow, you've gotten better in expressing your emotions young Jedi Brat...I love hod you asked questions and stated your beliefs in this person...there's affection for this person, yet you give this person space to grow and let that person be...very well penned, Abbigale.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I think this was a very amazing poem, because this person was you. "My reflection" said it all. I think it displays a heavy amount of new found self-confidence which is absolutely fantastic. Your last stanza is perfect.

One thing I want to point out, that I actually heard on a TV show once: dreams are the things that there's a small possibility of chance; if your dreams can become reality in time, then they are goals. Not dreams. Just something to ponder over.

I think that you need to change the first stanza. "Eyes" and "sky" have a rhyme to it, so when the audience moved on to the next stanza, our brains are thinking "A-B-A-B" rhyme pattern, but you did "A-B-C-B" rhyme pattern for the rest of the poem. It jars the reader and confuses them even though most of them may not realize why as they continue reading.

And if I got the meaning of the poem wrong, I apologize... Poems are written for interpretation, and that's how I interpreted this one.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jane Doe

10 Years Ago

Thank you so much!(: I definitely will touch that up!(:
I loved that poem very much not only did it feel it spoke to, And im sure it will others as well:) That's was wonderful cause that will reach out rite there so much WOW! Great job my new friend:)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jane Doe

10 Years Ago

Well thank you!(: I appreciate your review very much!
0000000000000000000000000000

10 Years Ago

Your so very welcome Abbigale it was my pleasure my friend:)
Wow, you've gotten better in expressing your emotions young Jedi Brat...I love hod you asked questions and stated your beliefs in this person...there's affection for this person, yet you give this person space to grow and let that person be...very well penned, Abbigale.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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3 Reviews
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Added on October 5, 2013
Last Updated on October 6, 2013

Author

Jane Doe
Jane Doe

FL



About
I miss the way words would flow out on to a page and express my deepest concerns so I have returned. more..

Writing