____ By the railings ____

 

When you feel like looking far, far away into the night holding the railings standing in your balcony, looking lost and drowned, barren and ground, you should know and conclude, there's something wrong.

When you feel like hunger and thrust won't eradicate your existence, when food loses its allure and fails to draw your attention, and you can't recall when was the last time you have had a complete meal...they say...then my dear...you should definitely know that...there's something wrong...but this time...it's colossal.

Sometimes, life takes its toll. You think you are firing on all cylinders and suddenly you thump into a foul, well that’s life...on a roll.

Sometimes, it's a hoax. You play a game, and get deceived, nothing that you had conceived. You try to ensure your ways, and entrust in the ways that you have always believed and should have worked indeed, but not this time...a dwindling creed.

He had done all...played a game and didn't knew if he had lost or allured fame. He didn't knew what was the consequence if ever there was such a term, and he didn't knew what would happen after wards, while his desires would hit the streets and alone he would be to diversify his thoughts, but what If...?

And there, he knew exactly he had no where else to go. it's that IF that has claimed a clear cut dimension in his mind. He just couldn't jump across that IF. A man of his caliber, charming and strong, he knew that strength can be weighed, can be measured, but what about pain and suffering? No...you just cannot calculate and experiment...no book on earth or instrument  can evaluate faith, misery, hope or any human emotion. It can only be felt on a heart and machines don’t have that do they?    

But yes, strength is measured and he always relied on a false dawn. And now, every hope's long gone...gone...and he's alone.

He's standing in the same fence when she was here with him. The same railing where he tried to surprise her by jumping across the fence and pretending to fell down, where she clutched his hands and said he's a lunatic, and perhaps a maniac, but what ever his thoughts are, she's not giving into this childish and crazy act, so he should at once quit.

A smile surfed his lips. He didn't thought that his prank would be taken this seriously and which showed something different, something he hoped to see, like a shining ray of warmth from the sun in the fall, yes, and he was standing high and tall.

And it was perhaps the same place by the railings when she was about to leave and he couldn't stop her. She left without saying goodbyes. So much distinction, couldn't diversify, and still can't say why. Only If!!!!!

And since then, that IF has haunted him. Since then, his life revolves around that lost cause. That IF, as if there's nothing in life that attracts his soul, but the enigma of that IF...and he carries to live, in torture and despair.

That 'IF' remains a puzzle all his life. Some things are better left than touched, like your past, or your love that never lasts. He did play his part and played his cards. He believed in the motto, 'Everything's fair in love'...and he did slide the learning curve...but...this time, he lost...

Now he’s there by those railings, only this time he's not looking out at a glimpse of her coming his way. He's just trying to let her go and her memories. He knows it's quite tough and would make his life rough, but as he knew and thought, it was a game and hell who gives a damn. He would find some other, some one better and would never suffer; he waits for her to leave behind his back.

And the door's shut.

He takes a sigh and watches her drive away in her car out of his sight. He kept standing there by the railings, thinking for a new beginning, planning for a new start when, pain grew bitter and tart, and broke his heart.

She doesn't know, it’s not a game that he's playing now, but it's too late. He's lost and gone, once standing by the railings.

Reviews

[Touché Armada]

Oh now Flaw, this is rather sad... BTW no not looking pale, I got sun yesterday, nice warm sun.
But back to this..... I have said it once twice too many times loves not a game, games were made with rules and to be cheated at love has no rules and demands no cheating no hiding and no games really really no games. Its hard to let go isnt it? Ever have some one you could never let go of? Oh I have, and you cant move on till you do, 8 years of not letting go, very very destructive, but well you live and learn, love and learn, and do it all over again and again and again, seems we like the torment LOLOL... What strange creatures us humans are. To scared to hold on to scared to ever let go, hmm yes strange indeed.

[April Child]

At least once in all our pasts I would think. Makes us feel so alone and yet millions of people are going through this exact same thing. You capture it, the torturous feeling of questions with no answers and the agony of being unable to let go. I like your descriptions and the rhyming is interesting, like little poems buried within. Nice.

[Sel Whiteley]

This was a very interesting piece that really showed your apathy. The fact that you are staring into the abyss that is no longer formed by counting the hours until you see someone you like but instead characterised by the loss of appetite and look into empty landscape. This was a great description of that mood. I like the rhyme in this as it stressed your point. Rhyme isn't something I usually see in stories so it was captivating. A great write, thank you for sharing.

[Pema Dorje]

a mayic mythos plays out in this plaint of Love lost yet the trick is seeing through and finding you in it and the mirror and the echos of your laughter bring you home again ... I dig this ...

[Brianna Brie]

And he's still standing there by those railings. Only this time he's not looking out at a glimpse of her coming his way. He's just trying to let her go, and her memories.

Sometimes it is just so difficult to say goodbye. I hate it when love is like a game. Why does it have to be so damn hard? Like your reference to railings a familiar place of remembrance. Tear jerking write.

[Amor-de-angel]

Loves a game where the rules and boundries seem to change all the time. Well so i find.
Love the refrence to the railings. A great piece. Glad i found it

[Celtic Cat]

Very sad, trying to erase memories that places hold steady. Very sad: endings. Frightening: beginnings. I agree with Rachel and Armada.... good words... strange creatures.
Keep writing....

[rachel D]

i just love the reference to the railings, how you bring it back around again in the end. the middle is a thought-provoker indeed, taking me time to difest it all but the begining and the end we're clear as day to me. and the way you describe the loss and the place he is in, the game he is playing. so true of so many. i also love the line:
"And the door's shut"
this gives a powerful punch at the perfect time.
many red stars from me. (that's what i give out to pieces i like- red stars!)