Cutie pie

Cutie pie

A Story by Zoya

Josh Moore was a poor man. He led a bad life, a sad life; was twenty-five, no kids, no wife. Just an old mother, who croaked more than she spoke, was a terrible bathroom poet, and had been going gaga lately.

“Oh Almighty, what did I do to deserve this life?" Josh's mother began. "Are you angry with me? And what about my husband? Is he still crossed with the epitaph I got engraved on his tombstone? I really don't know what's the fuss about.”

“Grow up, mother. Be thankful the landlord didn't kick us out when he saw you sharing the beer with his dog. As for the epitaph? Seriously, woman - “The belt to our jeans, the toast to our beans, RIP, by all means.” If father was alive, he'd die reading that.” Josh chided.

“Truth is all I write. Your father was so dear to us!”

“Anyway. I got you a new phone.”

“Oh Almighty, what did I do to deserve this life! What did I do to deserve this handsome young man as my son! God bless, God bless.” She said, snatching the phone from Josh’s hands.
“Ooh, what are all these new apps. Got to check them out!”

“I hope you won't waste your-”

“Oh my God, that's the ChitChat app! Have to open an account right away!” She couldn't hide her excitement. In no time she was shouting at the top of her lungs- “I found Beth, I found Beth!” It sounded as if she just came across a long lost friend. Beth lived only a few blocks away.

“Calm down, mother.”

“Look, she posted a picture!”

She pressed the phone into Josh’s face. He squinted. It was a family picture. Beth Gibson, her old, serious-looking husband, and her cute, little son sleeping soundly in her lap who looked more like a cute soft-toy. The caption read- “Happy birthday, angel”

“I've got to comment on that!" She exclaimed. "Oh look at you. Aren’t you something! May God bless you and may you live a long and happy life. Happy Birthday, cutie pie!” With a lot of cringeworthy emojis. Sent.

“God, he's grown so fast. I remember visiting Beth around four months ago at the time of her delivery.” Josh contemplated.

“Right you are. Hasn't been much time since his bir- wait a minute.” Josh’s mother stopped midway. Her new phone beeped.

Beth Gibson: My husband said thank you.


© 2018 Zoya


Author's Note

Zoya
Feedback/suggestions all appreciated :)

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Featured Review

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A humourous little piece, Zoe....

I can see that your time away from the cafe hasn't lessened your storytelling prowess, and indeed the paragraphing of the dialogue and continuation of the story flow is a new skill you have acquired.

Just about every family has a member similar to Josh's Mother and i sure pity the poor guy! That epitaph was highly original and quite funny, as was the old biddy's fascination and teenage excitement for the new phone. And your twist at the conclusion did bring a smile.

Great to have you back writing on the cafe again, Zoe. You sure didn't miss much in your absence, though. Another fine short story. Well Done.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

3 Years Ago

Don't know about others, but I sure didn't miss much from you! Your new one is in my archive already.. read more
.

3 Years Ago

Always welcome, Zoe. As welcome as an Indian cricket victory on British soil!! :)))
Zoya

3 Years Ago

NOPE. As welcome as a brain fade on the Indian soil :)



Reviews

I liked the story. Feel of real life and real people. I liked the complete story in the poem. Especially the ending. Thank you dear Zoya for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much, Coyote, for your kind comment. I appreciate it :)
Coyote Poetry

1 Year Ago

You are welcome my friend.
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Vin
This one's cute as the title suggests. Keep writing.

LOVE!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

2 Years Ago

Thank you! Glad you liked it :))
Lord, how different MY reaction was when I was given my first cell phone. "The reason I go out," I told my son, "Is so that no one will be able to bother me, for a while.That's why I never hooked up that darned answering machine you gave me, I don't want everybody and their grandmother bothering me when I'm not even at home!" But, alas, the times, they are a-changing, and now I find myself able to be pestered at every hour of every day.


Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

3 Years Ago

Haha, I can only imagine!
I appreciate the time and review, angel. Thank you! :)
ooohwow i loved this cute little story so true to life
love your style good work

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

3 Years Ago

Thank you so much, Julie! :)
Quite the absurdist piece you've written here, Zoe. I'm a little puzzled about certain details like why the old lady needs a new phone anyway, and why she would be excited about all the new apps.....somethings aren't quite explained. Also, it's best to mention who's speaking as soon as possible, otherwise it could get confusing. For example: that first bit of dialogue could be misconstrued as being spoken by Josh himself by how you worded the opening sentences, so you should put the clarification that it's the mother speaking after "almighty" so the reader isn't left hanging for so long or thinking that it indeed is Josh.

This is otherwise well done indeed. Much enjoyed.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

3 Years Ago

I'll make those changes!
Thank you for the time and review, emi! :)
emipoemi

3 Years Ago

my pleasure.
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
.
A humourous little piece, Zoe....

I can see that your time away from the cafe hasn't lessened your storytelling prowess, and indeed the paragraphing of the dialogue and continuation of the story flow is a new skill you have acquired.

Just about every family has a member similar to Josh's Mother and i sure pity the poor guy! That epitaph was highly original and quite funny, as was the old biddy's fascination and teenage excitement for the new phone. And your twist at the conclusion did bring a smile.

Great to have you back writing on the cafe again, Zoe. You sure didn't miss much in your absence, though. Another fine short story. Well Done.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

3 Years Ago

Don't know about others, but I sure didn't miss much from you! Your new one is in my archive already.. read more
.

3 Years Ago

Always welcome, Zoe. As welcome as an Indian cricket victory on British soil!! :)))
Zoya

3 Years Ago

NOPE. As welcome as a brain fade on the Indian soil :)
Ending 👌👌👌.
Thanks for sharing.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

3 Years Ago

Thank you for the read :))
The Epitaph😂
I cannot get over it. Really liked the twist in the end. Wonderful story.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

3 Years Ago

Thanks a lot, Najam! Means much :)
Najam Us Saher

3 Years Ago

You are always welcome dear :)
loved the humorous twist at the end...the character of Josh's mother was very well written and i couldn't help but giggle at the epitaph. A really fun read :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

3 Years Ago

Thank you so much for the kind words! Glad you enjoyed :)
Elizabeth Shaji

3 Years Ago

it was my pleasure:)
zoe,i didn`t know you was such a great story teller,this is good

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

3 Years Ago

Thank you, wordman! I really appreciate that :)
 wordman

3 Years Ago

you`re welcome

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11 Reviews
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Added on August 27, 2018
Last Updated on September 2, 2018

Author

Zoya
Zoya

India



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