Barking

Barking

A Poem by Daniel Fourie

Just a loser walking in your shadow
Will I be forever lost in this meadow?

It's fine to love in the dark
but when the lights are on, all I seem to do is bark

Telling you might be a mistake
but it's one I have to take
'cause after all, I can't keep up this fake

© 2014 Daniel Fourie


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

Bark is a verb that cannot be taken seriously! Rhyme again is governing your diction choices.
Second last line - but it's a chance I have to take. You make mistakes, you take chances, therefore the suggestion of adding in the words 'a chance'.

Posted 9 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

166 Views
1 Review
Added on January 15, 2014
Last Updated on June 21, 2014
Tags: lost, love

Author

Daniel Fourie
Daniel Fourie

Port Elizabeth, Eastern Cape, South Africa



About
20. South Africa. Male Teenager. Music. Pop Punk. Rubik's Cube. Chess. Cricket. Soccer. and most importantly JESUS. more..

Writing