Magic Gone to Infinity

The loss of my sister is never greater than at this time of year, she was a Christmas fanatic and brought a special magic to the holidays.

There is no comfort to wrap around this loss 

my mind goes to what could have been or was 

concept of suicide is puzzling at best 

the pain searing and everlasting 

It reaches to the depths and breath of your soul 

with no reprieve of understanding  

a reminder an angel's gone from sight 

agonizing in the dust remaining behind 

 

Have you found that peaceful haven 

 you so very desperately sought 

what's left behind is the wreckage 

of lives and people you once loved... 

Nothing fills the void in the heart 

it crevices deeper with time 

resting on the surface a valiant 

effort for self-preservation 

Spending time in reverie and wait  

hoping visions or clarity's obstructed view 

will come to fruition and make sense

emptiness explodes this time of year

There is no true sound belief 

or acknowledgement profound 

of existing energy to enrapture us, 

that  your reasoning brought you  

to a better place of peace beyond  

just the emptiness and conclusion 

with the resolute existence of truth... 

you are gone forevermore to infinity 

Christmas no longer holds that same magic it did when you were with us... 

Merry Christmas little sis xo

Reviews

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

As a widow Frieda I truly understand this pain. Sept 25th is when I feel this way. I don't have the questions of why suicide was committed but I do have the question to the two that killed him of why? It is hard, so very hard. You have done and excellent job writing this.

[Frieda P]

Thank you so much Neva, and I'm sorry for your loss.

[Sheila Kline]

The pain can be unbearable and my heart gives yours a big, big hug with hope you will find a bit of comfort during this Christmas season. Your words are those not soon forgotten!!! I am so sorry you have lost your precious sister-that she has gone forever more to infinity!!!!
A very, very touching write of despair and loss!!!!

[Frieda P]

Thanks Sheila, your hugs are the best. :-)

[Tree]

Touching, and sad. Poetry, if nothing else, helps us to formulate our feelings and defines our emotions. It crystalizes our love for people, too. It can even unburden. Thank you for this

[Frieda P]

Thanks Diego, it does help to pen the the pain sometimes.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Awesome tribute.

[Frieda P]

Thank you kindly Kenneth.

[kublakhan27]

I won't claim to know "just how this feels" because this is your story and only you can speak to the pain it entails, but I do sympathize with this poem a great deal...I won't burden you with too much autobiography, but my Dad and Grandparents loved the holidays and, in spite of all the cynicism that seems to dominate Christmas nowadays, the rest of us do what we can to ensure that their enthusiasm is not diminished...this will be the first one without Dad, and even though I feel lousy now, I think I'll feel better come next week...anyways, to make a long story short, this piece really spoke to me...you really said all that needs to be said...well done.

[Frieda P]

Hope you are feeling better, and thanks for your kindness.

[kublakhan27]

You're very welcome :) I think I'll feel better when Christmas actually rolls around, but my God, I hope we don't have the weather we have today...we've got a monsoon going on today with not the slightest hint of snow x_x I like the snow, I even depend on it to an extent at this time of year...it has a soothing effect on me...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so sorry for your loss...have had some friends who have opted for this way out...and have been close a few times myself...

there is so much pain for everyone...

lost a dear friend yesterday..at least we found out yesterday that he was found dead in his house...we still don't know the details...some suspect suicide as he was in much pain...we will miss him so much...and this poem helped me cope with the feelings.
thank you for it.

jacob

[Frieda P]

the holidays are so terribly stressful, for those in pain and those left behind. So sorry for your loss jacob and thank you.

[fiery-san]

Sometimes the loss of a person is harder to those who were left behind... they had to deal with the grieving process and the emptiness of what was once there but now gone... This poem pretty much covers that aspect very well... Good job Frieda. ^_^

[Frieda P]

Yes, well once you're gone, I assume you don't have any of this pain, that's why people take their own lives...it's just proves a transference of pain which I guess they don't take into account when they're in that desperate state of mind....thanks so much.

[tarryfranck97]

Frieda, I'm sorry for your loss and I can relate to this so much bec/I've battled many suicide attempts and still battle the thoughts. But I just recently loss my Step-Father and this is going to be a hard Holiday Season for all my family. This was a great way to honor your sisters memory. Wonderfully said and I just love that picture. Where did you find that?

[Frieda P]

My deepest sympathy tarry, thanks for your kind thoughts. This is what keeps me sane, keep on that pen, it's a good release. I think I found both pics when I googled 'xmas angels' if I"m not mistaken. Glad you enjoyed them, I thought they brought a bit of whimsy to what I knew would be a somber read.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Will you stop f*****g making me cry! Please.........

[Frieda P]

Sorry man, I don't mean to share my pain with you, but it's the only way of touching of my sister during this holdiay season.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I just wish the pain would ease for you and this was a razor of emotion.