Stage Fright

voices in my head,

 a familiar twist

strangling vocal chords 

in my eyes

old movies, instant replay mode

take 33/act twelve/quiet on the set

from the top again....let's roll it

tonight we'll play lovers

more passion/less acting

I don't care anymore

    about your lines

i see your lips moving on cue, 

there's nothing happening

silent movies rarely get awards

merely going through the actions,

 you don't get paid

dress rehearsal on a reel

 spinning off reality

break out another old script,

 shot this rerun in technicolor

you're breathing, but expired

this scene is dead

sweeping exit

cut/

Reviews

[khalid]

oh woww i love this dear...why do many lovers become deaf when they are supposed to talk? it really sucks then to be waiting for one single word from those locked lips..
is it shyness then? i think love teaches lovers to be brave not to be shy..
we need to hear what we feel, a sweet word can remove years stress..if you love, express it..

[Frieda P]

I could not agree more khalid, fear I suppose...thanks so much for your insightful review as always...

[khalid]

my pleasure always dear..

[Horizon K.]

Very cool how this can be read so literally and yet as a metaphor too...
You're breathing but expired... Love that visual! Worn out from acting, in this drama of life and love.... where real passion ends the unacted type, so does this play... Cut!

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much for the very cool review Horizon...cut! ;-)

[Michael G.]

A very good write, as always. Sounds like the problem is the use of method actors not "going for it." Silent action... kinda sad. But this write will not be found on the editor's cutting room floor. It's a keeper.

[Frieda P]

Woo, love that Michael, thanks so much!

[DIVYA]

In this key scene, we have to get it right the very first time or else!

"shot this rerun in technicolor
you're breathing, but expired
this scene is dead
sweeping exit
cut/" - superb humor-packed punch delivered here! Enjoyed thoroughly Frieda! Thanks for sharing!

[Baby Ricochet]

Nice piece Frieda. I like the last four lines particularly. Outstanding work

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Baby.

[Rob Santana]

How the helllllllll!! Dos this piece get 136 views 19 reviews and shelved 6 times in just one day???? why is it that CREEPER SENRYU only has 69 views 10 reviews and 1 shelved (which I shelved). Somethings wrong here???? Oh by the way awesome work ;)

[Frieda P]

haha maybe cause you're a pain in the arse! ;-)

...and thanks! Not sure most people knew I was meant you...guess there's a lot of em out there!

[Blue Ivory]

In a way, reminds me of Marilyn Monroe. The life of an actress is really tough, and I love the way you've summed it up!

[Frieda P]

Oh I love Marilyn, thanks so much Siren.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

too bad the other actor can't say or remember his lines...a dialogue is so much better than a monologue...when it comes to love...both feeling it and expressing it.

[Frieda P]

One would think jacob, thanks for the review.

[The 13th Eros]

You painted a scene of fire with no more fuel; the painful moments and movements when passion is played out in steps. Such is embers... such is death... May you teach us how to set fire to the bed... metaphorically, of course. ;)

[Frieda P]

ha, never know Eros ;-)

[The 13th Eros]

I'm sure you know someone with a big match. ;)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Another great write using the metaphor of the stage and acting. lovely parallels with life itself. Flows so well and full of pathos.

[Frieda P]

Thanks John, you know how that goes.

[luviva]

loved it, am soo so lost in this piece that cant find what to say honestly and i love your carelessness, you know,"i dnt care anymore about your lines, i see your lips moving..."
loved them best!! nice write

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much luviva, loving your review...