Sea E'scape

I lie still in the midnight surf

crashing waves rushing over me

pummeling an already broken soul

ravaging my cold chamber'd heart

torn apart by thunderous clouds,

that day you sail'd for better horizons

Sinking breathlessly onto the edge,

hoping for ocean's depth to unfurl

this magnitude of boundless space

left behind in your parting tides,

sand engulfs my weeping eyes

etching how blind'd love can be

Hauntingly sad violin cries in the distance, 

strumming the siren call on wing'd strings

whilst ebb'd flow of tears immerse,

drowning ceaselessly in streams...

Author's Note

Reviews

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

I like where this is coming from right from the first line. I am a water baby, so midnight surf is my kind of place to be...The term "cold-chambered heart" is great! This reminds me of a time when I tossed off my clothes in the winter on Ocean Beach in San Francisco in front of all my friends who I used to go to the beach and play guitar with and I ran out into the water in the middle of the night because I felt, like you are describing, I was broken and lonely!! I had had a terrible break up. "This magnitude of boundless space" really gets to the heart of it! I like that this is not an overtly negative piece. The title "E'scape" says that there is a "seascape of hope" here. It is less "sad" than melancholy. It is less "tragic" than mournful. I always love that you have an overall conception that works! I am always saddened when people write one dimensional poetry. This clearly has a number of levels of interpretation and plot. That is always a pleasure in your writing!! There is the superficial but also the profound, and everything in-between.

[Frieda P]

Wow Robby, you've left me speechless, I'm so thrilled you felt this one...I'm truly humbled by your kind words...and giggling at the imagery of Ocean Beach a little... ;-)

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Well, clearly I get where you are coming from...It was an interesting night at the beach. When I came up naked and asking if anyone wanted to bring me my clothes everyone thought I was completely insane. I am pretty sure no one expected me to really go into the black water and stay out for nearly half an hour. It was surprisingly warm and I guess thinking back it makes sense because in winter here in California we get the Mexican warm waters up here in Northern California. It is only in Summer that we get the Alaska Current freezing us out of the water, ironically. The water is 47 or so in winter and 42 or so in summer. In any event, it was cold, but I had a great time. It was part of me coming back from a few years feeling all of my insides had died following my first real love leaving me in Europe, stealing all my money, and deliberately pestering me with stories of her new relationships after we were split...brutal. Anyway, so this poem brought that home for me, but had I never had that experience it would still be a powerful poem!

[Frieda P]

That is a brutal story, so the sea was cleansing to your spirit, I get that...and I'm sure they thought you were off your rocker, sometimes you just gotta do what's needed....thanks again and for sharing Robby!

[Pryde Foltz]

strumming the siren call on wing'd strings
whilst ebb'd flow of tears immerse,
drowning ceaselessly in streams…

Each of those teardrops takes away a drop of pain … great write, Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Slowly, yes...thanks Pryde.

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

Very nice turn of phrase, as deep as the sea, and sad as the surf crashing on the rocky shore.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much, appreciate your visit.

[Tam Warink]

I have a thoughtful exercise to propose to you, Frieda. Take this wonderful composition and separate it into three groups of words such that the lines beginning with verbs go into one group, the line nouns go into another group and all the rest into the final group. Create a poem from each group using only the words in that group. See what you come up with. I would be extremely curious to read the result of that effort (should you wish to undertake it.) Consider me your temporary muse-substitute if that will help. :)

[Frieda P]

OMG a test, I suck at those...I'll try, grazie, I think ;-)

[WILDERNESS]

so beautiful ........ v nice

[Frieda P]

Thanks Wilderness...

[WILDERNESS]

welcome dear............... enjoyed

[s y e]

How am I supposed to review after that magnificent review Jack gave... omg.

This is beautiful Frieda. The imagery you wrote was amazing, and so, so vivid. The wording and flow is just divine. You hit the Jackpot every time with your writes.

//Hauntingly sad violin cries in the distance,
strumming the siren call on wing'd strings
whilst ebb'd flow of tears immerse,
drowning ceaselessly in streams...//

absolutely stunning, some of the phrases in here were to literally die for... I think I may be in heaven right now...

[Frieda P]

Doing the happy dance to your reivew noodlebumble, to die for is over the top, thanks luv! x

[s y e]

It so is not OTT! x

[Frieda P]

'Tis so, and Heaven, can't top those! x

[s y e]

It is not... do not argue with me Frieda.... x

[MsJewel]

I can relate to your sad, sad poem Frieda....drowning in an ocean of memories....
On another note, you have a wonderful gift for writing heartwrenching poems that are so filled with beauty - they just curl right up in my heart.
I love this one.

:) Julie

[Frieda P]

What a divine review, thanks so much Julie, really appreciate your kind words. :-)

[Scott Metro]

Beautiful language here Frieda....a painting !!!
Sorrowful..the sea and loneliness...
How magnificent you pen..!
I am your fan !!
Admiration.
Scott

[Frieda P]

Does that mean you'll refrain from calling me cheeky monkey now? Thanks so much Scott, much appreciated....

[Scott Metro]

Had this been any more realistic..I would have had to wear a mask and snorkel just to read the lines..a true nautical treasure.
Smile sugar...
S.

[Jack...]

When the heart feels the loss of its every fibre life can seem a very lonely shoreline. Frieda, once again I am enchanted and hypnotized by your beautiful poetry. After reading this wonderful piece today, warmth engulfs my entire being. My life could end and I would feel satisfied.

[Frieda P]

Wow Jack..you floor'd me with this review, thanks so much, you made my entire week my friend!

[Talesha]

Beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!! I adore this so much.You are truly a literary genius.

[Frieda P]

You humble me Talesha, thanks so much my friend!

[Talesha]

It really is the other way around :) Your words are magnificent.