Commiseration

Commiseration

Pink shirts, pink pencils, impressions and images in shades of pink

It was her favourite color, pink

He hates the color, but he'll wear it to keep her alive

Commiseration

Damp cheeks, salty face, eyes and lips in shades of red

Some grieve this way, others in silence

He hates tears, but he'll shed them to keep her alive

Commiseration

Busy eyes, dark mind, intentions and impulses in shades of black

Ideas are disguised, yet equal in all minds

He hates the thoughts, but he'll remind himself to keep her alive.

He thinks it over and over and over and...

She was gone long ago.

Reviews

[Thaddius]

It's like the Spiteful dead girl's narration, great concept. The subtext is this sinister resentment and spite for this fellow. There's so much here beneath the surface, you peel back just one corner of this world, and the result is haunting. Awesome! (and cool structural concept as well, with all the reprises. I do think if it's not a song you might want to cut the actual word 'commiseration'. if it is a song, i could listen to Kurt Cobain wailing that!)

[MoriartyMesa]

I found more light than dark in this. Something beyond what would be considered subtext. It has more of a deeper feel than first read. It requires some study. Nice job

[Lobster Goldberg]

Very deep poem with a very powerful ending. Well done!

[Jeff]

Very dark and depressing. You've captured the mourning and the loss very well.