I Grieve

For myself

Last week I cried over a cookie.

It took me all day to get the batter right

and when it came out of the oven it was black.

I can't even bake a cookie right, so I cried. 

Yesterday I relapsed over water.

I dropped the uneven liquid weight 

and had to mop up the hardwood floors.

I can't even carry a glass of water, so I relapsed.

Last night I panicked over a phone call.

A telemarketer rang but when I picked up

no words came out of my throat, only unease.

I can't even talk on the phone, so I panicked.

This morning I lost hope over makeup.

My unsteady hands couldn't match 

and eyeliner wasn't neat enough so I wiped it off.

I can't even do makeup right, so I lost hope.

Tonight I grieve for my old self.

Now I see that mundane, everyday tasks

are obstacle courses that I can't complete anymore.

I am not myself anymore, so I grieve.

Reviews

[NeiL ArandA]

You are describing someone that may have an OCD or maybe a perfectionist. I find the word " relapse " quite interesting and well place. But I relapse when things doesn't seems to fit right and goes the way I expect it to be...

[ddinok]

Nice lines.....thanks for sharing

[Laura Lynn]

Chillingly beautiful, to write is to live a thousand lives, thank you, what a great visionary way of doing things, getting things done, contemplating the earth

[fox walker]

excellent work. Kind of sad...I hope all is well