Chapter Six: Fire

Chapter Six: Fire

A Chapter by Georgie

Lead scout Pion's account


My mind was reeling, mired in a confused, dusky fog. Yet I remember certain disjointed thoughts that snagged and pulled at my consciousness... Breathing was difficult, I was gasping for clean air, and could feel my lungs and chest tightening with every inhalation. An intense heat scorched my skin and licked uncomfortably at the side of my face and arms and legs. When I tried to move from it, I was stuck. 

I remember thinking, as I came to, that I must have been in Hell.

I opened my eyes to swirling, heavy smoke. I was trapped in a rocky enclave, surrounded by the fierce red orange of flame. All I could smell was burning, of wood and flesh and something else, something so strong and potent it had my heart racing. My hands were behind my back, fastened by a chain to a stake in the ground. Burning all around me were huge pyres of woodgrass, sticks and the charred remains of what looked like human limbs.

Then I heard chanting somewhere over to my right, and when I turned my head I could see Native faces through the arch of the entrance, shimmering and dancing through the flames, their eyes rolling into the backs of their heads. Panic seized my body, heat searing my eyeballs and throat. I coughed and choked on screams of petrified fear. Every time I opened my mouth it would fill with ash and smoke. 

I tried to pray but my brain faltered and the words would not come... 

Fear shook me to my very core. They were going to burn me and then eat me... I had heard tales of such savagery. My heart felt like it was going to burst in my chest. Their chanting grew louder and louder... A hand came through the entrance and threw bunches of dark red stems into the flames which burned quickly, giving off the acrid smell that attacked my senses. There was a grating sound as the women rolled a stone in front of the entrance, and the sky slowly disappeared.

Trapped in this fuming, smoking Hell, death clawed my skin and breathed down my neck. After all these years, I thought, after all the training and the battles and the times that I scraped through with my life hanging by a thread... It was all to be for nothing. 

My vision blurred, my senses choked.   

Suddenly, I felt myself rising. I was looking down at my slumped figure chained at the stake, so small and helpless, as my soul rose up and up into the smoke filled air... Then I was running. Trees towered high above, their branches writhing down towards me, squeezing the air from my lungs, whispering run, run... My feet hit something wet though I could see no water. When I looked down, thick red blood seeped out of the cracked earth. I stood frozen as it flooded the land and torrents of it swirled over my feet, rising to my ankles and then to my knees. 

Whose blood was this? I found myself wondering, gazing at it in sheer horror. Then in a desperate motion I thrust my hands in, and the liquid exploded at my touch. Thousands of sparkling red droplets filled the air, hissing as they landed on my hot, fiery skin.

“Pion!” a voice called, “Pion!” I turned...

Kody. There were dark deep holes where his eyes had once been, blood streaming down his cheeks. He smiled sadly, “It’s how they prepare for death-”

Anger curdled in my heart. "I thought you knew!" I screamed.

“Help us...” he raised a hand out, broken bloody stumps where his fingers had been, “The darkness has come- it has come for us Pion... Help us...”

Sorrow lay itself thick across my shoulders, for I knew who he was talking about... Jarves, Trevler, Nealson... 

Their savaged faces loomed out of the torrent of blood, their jaws dropping open to reveal stunted stumps of tongues and raw gums. I heard their voices begging, screaming, their eyes full of savage accusation as they glared at me. 

I staggered back and fell, and did not stop falling. I saw shadow and darkness erupt until there was nothing left. Everything grew smaller and smaller as I flew backwards, the very earth swallowing me into its depths.

© 2014 Georgie

Author's Note

I may edit this at a later stage, but its a rough draft of what happens to Pion at the hands of the Natives. Please let me know what you think?

My Review

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"A hand came through the entrance and threw bunches of dark red stems" Instead of using the word bunches in this line I would change it to 'and threw a bunch of'.

"It was all to be for nothing." The word 'going' needs to be between the words 'all' and 'to'.

This chapter was incredible! I really loved the vivid details and I could envision exactly what Pion was remembering. This was a great scene and I can't wait to see what else you have in store for us to read!


Posted 9 Years Ago

Interesting chapter. Not sure what to make of it. I'll be interested to see what it means in the chapters ahead.

Posted 9 Years Ago

Okay, Georgie. This. Was. Breathtaking.
Such horror portrayed by vivid descriptions of supernatural occurrences. It grew more horrible as it climbed to climax and left me in a place full of the right questions.
Take a second pass at some of your exact phrasing. Otherwise beautiful work.
Feed me more.

Posted 9 Years Ago


9 Years Ago

Ah thank you jj I always find your feedback so constructive and helpful.. A second pass at my exact .. read more

9 Years Ago

Honestly, its nothing too big. Just give it some distance. Come back and rewrite and see if anything.. read more

9 Years Ago

I will do just that. It's a short interlude between chapters anyway so it needs time and editing. Th.. read more

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3 Reviews
Added on May 11, 2014
Last Updated on May 22, 2014
Tags: Parren, fantasy, scout, jungle



London, United Kingdom

I like to write in my spare time, and as much as possible. I am always thinking about story lines and characters. Most of it is fantasy. I'm sorry but I don't like reading poetry... I just don't get o.. more..

King Ruben King Ruben

A Book by Georgie

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