Metamorphosis

Life # Love # Poem

           The stillness of the Night

         An Enigma that captures me

       Brings back Memories of a crony that

         I've tried to bury in the past…

 

                Deafening silence...

         Marveled by a cricket’s song

      A strong force that pulls me back

Drowned deep into dungeon, morbid crypt.

 

                  Forsooth, I pray

               To flee of this fovea

         An eclipse that deprives reality

           Need to grasp a Ray of light

        And bring me back to my senses

 

                Then … You came

             And gave me a nudge

     Brought color to life and love itself

     The Halo that alters inside and out

       Vanquished my utmost solitude

 

                  Now, I stand…

           With you in the present

 Relieved of anxieties brought by the past

 Undaunted of the challenges of the future

        Love… Life… and Peace of mind

                   Is essential

Reviews

[Ency Bearis]

A good introspection well expressed and poetized. However in the 3rd stanza there's a little bit of a flaw. Brings Memories of crony ____ that. First, if you write Brings ( verb) the preceding noun Memory should be no (s). If you write Bring ( verb) the preceding noun must be with ( s ) Memories. Second,Brings Memory of crony - what ? Believe me this is the flaw with my Editors I was dinged. Just a suggestion if you don't mind - Bring Memories to crony notion that. Or, Brings the memory to crony ( notions thoughts, thinking ) that -----. Just a little bit of a hint.

[Jorj Jie]

thank you! :)

[Ency Bearis]

My pleasure and you're welcome. I see the changes, nice to read

[Jorj Jie]

I did not replace the crony, since i was referring to crony -> friend... I don't know what else to fill in. In the lines Brings memories of .... I just added the word back. actually I deleted "back" on purpose since I was into matching syllabication. anyways, I am not a professional writer, so :) flaws will be expected. :D. Thanks Ency. I hope you get time to read the rest of my writings and tell me if needs editing. Thank you so much! Have a nice day!

[Ency Bearis]

If I got time I'll read your works. Just busy right now in ER.

[B-poet]

Very uplifting and well written. Great write. :)

[Jorj Jie]

thanks Bpoet! :)

[Just Kim]

Deafening silence...
Marveled by a cricket’s song
A strong force that pulls me back
Drowned deep into dungeon, morbid crypt.

I love the imagery in these lines,
I like the depth of it as well,
Awesome writing

[Jorj Jie]

thank u so much!