I Am No Longer Who I Used to Be

At some point,

I was exactly what you wanted.

Intelligent,

Pure,

Innocent,

Pleased.

I was a slave to your wishes.

Choring to your every need.

Everything you wanted me to be

I became for you.

You took me for granted.

You were not satisfied.

Because somewhere in your hollow heart,

You were angry I had not disappointed you like the others did.

It infuriated you to know that I had proved all of you wrong.

That I was better than all of them.

That I was special.

And I know it scared you to death

To see me beat them

To know that people can see that you failed them.

To know that people could pick me out as special.

It enraged you,

So you took me for granted.

Dragged me across the mud.

Until one day,

I woke up,

And decided I could not do that anymore.

I decided to start living for me.

Because at times when I needed you to be there for me,

You weren’t.

At times when I needed you to fight for me,

You didn’t.

I was there to comfort myself,

And I had to get up and fight for myself.

I had to cry myself to sleep for 7 days in a row.

I had won the battle,

But lost the war.

I no longer care what you think.

To hell with you,

And your spies,

And your conspiracies.

We both know you were never going to be pleased.

From today onwards,

I am going to do whatever the hell makes me happy.

I need to be happy.

No more pleasing you.

I need to please the lifeless soul that resides deep in my torn up core.

I need to revive what was once a jubilant essence.

Because I know that one day,

I will stand up on a pedestal,

And know that I had made it.

I will know that I had disappointed your wish;

 that I would disappoint you.

And I will stitch up my mother’s torn up heart.

And until I get to that pedestal,

I intend on pleasing myself.

I apologize,

But I am not remorseful for what I am about to do.

So s’il vous plait,

Don’t question why your (be)little(d) girl

Will no longer act so (be)little(d).

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Constructive criticism is welcome.

Reviews

[Laminators Dubai]

SPLENDID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ITS LIKE MY REFLECTION............
YOU WRITING IS TALKING TO ME....
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING!