My Mask

My Mask

Behind the invisible scars and muted screams is a heart of despair,

Struggling against the forgotten painful beat between life and death,

A train wreck of consequences, of actions - stripped of love,

Altered, hurt, broken - no longer can it survive the darkness.

I am worthless, useless - this illusion leads to my insecurities,

My mind is puzzled with internal infractions rewritten in teardrops,

Resulting from my errors, my blunders - learned from rejection,

As I am left feeling alone, dazed, lost, unwanted and neglected.

Illness and sadness and all the other woes lead to my self hate,

Bitter regret tests the limits of my trust, leaving me burning in anxiety,

Fighting for my sanity, to be normal but trapped behind pointless decisions,

Condemning me to a damnation of time that suffocates my bleeding soul.

My emotions are ripped open by the shards of separation, of persecution,

Cold fragments of my memories abuse and destroy any promises of destiny,

There is a war, a battle between all that is good and between the enemy within,

The man, the person I am lives in horror - disappearing behind my mask....

5/10/2018

Author's Note

2nd one of 2 dark poems..

Reviews

[Akash gaikwad]

This is a deep poem. A reader will need more empathy then sympathy to understand this. A lot of time we build a personality in our self which we are unaware of and slowly moving like a wind it covers our soul takes control. It's never late to take the control back.
When you look up in the sky in night there are stars but big area is covered by dark but that doesn't mean light is defeated it can also mean light is winning but slowly. Thanks for this deep poem.😊

[Ghost]

Thanks for reading and your comment is much appreciated, thank you....

[Chris Shaw]

This is a dark poem, but it is extremely well written and I can empathise so much with the inner battle going on inside you. I sincerely hope that better times will be ahead, hang in there, and look for that crack of light in the darkness. It will come. It is good that at least you are able to put pen to paper and release your words. Even that will help.

Chris

[Ghost]

Thank you for your kind thoughts.. Things are doing better, that was a really dark week for me.. Thank you again

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome. It's good to know your darkness is lifting.

[Neville]

so very dark, but still penetrable.... hang in there my friend, it will get brighter, I assure you.... Neville

[Ghost]

Thanks Neville... I am actually doing better, I have been digging myself out of that hell..

[Neville]

Good to hear my friend, just keep digging and you will get clear, just mark my words.....Neville

[Crowley]

Dark but heavy in truth and emotion. When these things happen to us it is difficult to dig our way back to the light again, but when we do, watch out. Great tone and point, brave write.

[Ghost]

Thanks for the comment.. Yes it is hard to dig out and I can only hope I am digging out now so I can face the darkness and know I won... Thanks again

[sette]

very dark and sublime but then there is still the truth that each and everyone of us wears mask to hide a lot of deep emotions inside

[Ghost]

Thanks for your comment... It was a dark period for a bit... I am feeling better and hope to keep feeling better...

[sette]

just stay strong and be strong

[jacob erin-cilberto]

self-deprecation at its best...but too often i think we let others' evaluations of us, rule...and then we let our self-esteem find its lowest point...none of us is worthless, or just simply less than another.
j.

[Ghost]

Thanks I appreciate the comment, I was having a rough time a couple of weeks ago, and my friend made me feel better about myself... But it is nice knowing there are good people out here to help too... Thank you

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

love this its so deep so dark so honest so raw
i wrote a poem called the mask a year ago

[Ghost]

Thank you for such a nice comment and I will look at your poem...