Highschool Hell

Basic poem about love and loss (teen)

Junior year for a guy should be fun and games

Friends and parties day and night

Hookup with 3 girls, I just might

But still my limp heart remains

 

I used to be the happiest kid alive

a girl who cared for me,

I was in love with life, anyone could see

Now I’m just trying to survive

 

Avoiding my friends and hiding away

Popping pills to avoid the pain

Crying to the few friends that remain

Does anyone care about what I have to say?

 

You told me you always cared for me

That you would always be there

That you would never hurt me, you would swear

What a b***h you turned out to be

 

I’m as fragile as I’ll ever be

Little things cause me to lose my grip

F**k girls f**k that relationship

You’ll miss me eventually

Author's Note

first poem submitted, looking for opinions

Reviews

[Destiny]

I have small revisions so the poem in the beginning might flow a bit better
"Friends and parties day and night" to Friends and parties, day and night
"I was in love with life, anyone could see" to two lines and break it off where the comma is.

Overall most people can relate. It's to the point and very emotional. I hope poetry is a different form of you coping than popping pills. It's very good and well-written.

[Amila Jay]

Wow, this is a great poem indeed!! superb:-)

[raindroplove]

...you know theres girls who feel the same way....i know how it feels ...

[SwagMaster]

Loved it! I truly shows how being young, you think nothing can hurt you and the world is your playground. Tragedies can change that view in an instant.

[tkersh]

Very honest. Really conveys your emotions. Ends with a bang. The key to poetry is digging as deep as you can, and you're clearly good at that. Keep writing and welcome to Writer's Cafe!

[Thea]

A really honest and straight-forward piece...Yes, high school might be one of the happiest phase in our life for we discover so many things in here but never forget, this is also the part that you'll experience heartbreak, sorrow and melancholy especially in terms of love. The poem is so powerful...You expressed your emotions here very well...Good work! Keep it up...
:)))

[The Analog Kid]

Sometimes we need an honest cathartic write. I wish I was writing at your age because it helps with these feelings. The rhymes aren't too forced and the format was consistant. Nice start.

[Crayon]

It looks really good. It's honest, and it's brutal in it's honesty. Well done and welcome to writers cafe.

[Coyote Poetry]

A direct and honest poem. Being young you think you are invincible. Woman. party and fun. Like in this poem. A young woman can re-set your life and teach you pain. I like the term karma. We receive what we give. A strong ending to the poem. Life is fair. Best to be kind and honest. Life will bite you in the a*s. A very good poem.
Coyote

[Lauren]

This is really good! I suggest to keep writing, because it honestly helps express yourself, as corny as that sounds. Keep it up! Hope to hear another one soon!