just once

just once

A Poem by the_stoic
"

only if i could relive those moments once more .. just once

"

just once
i want to buy you a 'kolhapuri chappal'
made from the finest leather that's quite supple.

just once
i long to sleep in your cozy lap
enriching my inner being with a short nap.

just once
i yearn for you to trust me
as i whole heartedly comply with your decree.

just once
i pine to be led by you in the busy street
making our way through the fast moving fleet.

just once
i wish for you to consider me as your own
letting me enter thy pristine love zone.

just once
i bid to listen to your sweet song
taking my beats on a mystical journey, as in my heart they throng.

just once
i need an assurance that no matter what
You will always consider me as your part, even if someday I depart.

just once
i beseech thou to allow my soul to wait
cause for a moment of true love, it's never too late.

just once ..

© 2010 the_stoic


Author's Note

the_stoic
"kolhapuri chappal" is a special handcrafted sandal famous in India .

My Review

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Featured Review

this poem seems to tie in with you feature poem...she must be some woman...
a theme we see often...repentent man trying to win back his lady...
we take these gals for granted sometimes...make some bonehead plays and then realize that we had it pretty good after all...this poem sounds like you've counted the cost and have a plan to sweep her off her feet...if only she'll give you the nod...you're not going to stop at "just once" are you?
if you get a second chance...you're never gonna stop, right?
Nice piece...

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Wow! This is wonderful and amazing.
I really like the emotion in this write.


Posted 13 Years Ago


Yes…I understand…..
The pathos behind your lines…
I too am going through an ordeal similar to this….
But I am very much optimistic…



Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I feel like this piece conveys such a longing for something.. perhaps something that once was experienced, but is now lost in some way..

Anyway, this write is touching, emotionally colourful, thought provoking, and beautiful. Loved it. :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very good repitition, there is a good rythm to this peice!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very, very nice. I love how it starts off with tangible longings, and then moves to unseen desires. great work.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"just once
i want to buy you a 'kolhapuri chappal'
made from the finest leather that's quite supple."

I really don't know why you wrote this. I've never worn a Kolhapuri chappal; Maybe it feels good to wear, But truly, the first stanza is a bit off.

I loved this best -

"just once
i wish for you to consider me as your own
letting me enter thy pristine love zone."

And there's no problem with the rhymes (Except 'me' and 'decree' which seems bit forced). Otherwise, it's a nice poem. You can, in all ways, change it into a wonderful poem.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

makes me think of the song "just once"
very creative, smart and smooth
almost hear a melody with this one

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a really well written poem, I can actually really relate. It poem is peaceful and vivid, nicely done in my own opinion.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Wow, this was great. I like the repetition you used. It makes the piece much stronger! :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this was a very wonderful poem I read it twice :) good job keep up the good work :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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916 Views
25 Reviews
Rating
Added on June 20, 2010
Last Updated on September 4, 2010
Tags: just, once, love

Author

the_stoic
the_stoic

India



About
i won't go about describing myself cause it'll end up as a self deprecatory saga .. my poems are there to speak for me . yesterday mp3 | lyricsfree music downloads | music videos | pictures Guda.. more..

Writing
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