An Autobiography

Pencil and paper, the objects of 

an action;  

to know your self is 

to erupt upon the page

at that fractured moment 

the two collide.  

Like a spasm,

It is to scribble mindlessly a window on 

old leavings turned 

amber with age,

to sit waiting to hold the image

of the moon in mind;

To trap it in a thousand razor sharp lines.

Beautiful goddess of the sky

have i captured your silver blood

and the curve of your hips?

Have i made each etched shadow, white

with worlds and silver mirrors?

I have sketched your form

a thousand times without color,

the silver hue of the pencil,

the silenced grey Light,

always like crystalline symmetry.

If your Beauty were a square

I would be the master of every angle.

Reviews

[Gandré]

This was a good poem. Liked how it made me feel. Terrific last 2 lines.

[Laura Nikkinen]

First line and I'm already thinking of writing a thought down that occurred to me (=inspiring). A pencil and a paper... The object of an action of a writer, but to the reader... They are the catalyst (is that how you spell that word) of a lot of actions.

I'm gonna confess, I'm dumb at times, this is a harder read to me than I would care to admit... And i read it once and then I had to read it again to understand just a fraction of it. I don't like it when my mind goes blank, when I am reading words in chains. But... I hope you take it as a compliment.

the last line puzzles me, ugh, why do yo have to be so smart with writing s**t like this down, i'm annoyed by your talent (again, take it as a compliment, i'm smiling as i'm writing this),

if your Beauty (with a capital letter... who are you talking about? something more divine than humans themselves... Life is the divinest of them all to me, so life it is for me here. beauty. and then again, you talk about the sky and the Moon, what does the Moon represent... longing. Well, I'm just rambling here, just my opinions) i would be the master of every angle... The last line got me. First and last ones are the crucial ones... The rest can be filler that can be tackled with later on.

You draw?

[Vincent Esprit FMI]

Samuel here lies the art at its best. Pieces like these never cease to amaze me, for they sometimes want to surpass my understanding without success....I struggle to understand them...and when I do victory is born...as has just happened with this piece. Congratulations!

[Ms. Gruye]

honestly, the only thing wrong with this poem is that it is too damn intelligent and carnal to be understood by the average reader.

it is truly lovely in it's concept and triumph in your last lines. I do have a few suggestions.

IMO, questions don't belong in poems. the point of a poem would be to let your reader come up with their own questions after soaking up the imagery employed. In this piece, you ask several questions that might make for a stronger image should you change them to statements. ah-hem: in example--

"Sister moon,
have i captured your silver blood
and the curve of your hips? "

might read

Sister moon,
have i captured your silver blood
and the curve of your hips.

be you gotta be your own man on this one.
Great poem regardless. you should be poem proud.

[Samuel Ferris]

I know its abstract, but the idea im trying to express is an abstract one. The whole poem is a failed attempt at capturing the ineffable. Its more about the tone of the metaphors than logic. Squares arent beautiful and thats the point of the last lines. They lack depth of form. Its essentially saying im very good at drawing squares, which isnt really artistic at all. Where as the beauty of the moon is in its mysticism, its curves, i also personify the moon with the metaphor of silver blood, moon light, and hips which goes along with the common mythological conception that moon is feminine, representing emotive forces. So essentially its questioning, have i captured the ineffable realm of intangible beauty and expression. Sliver and grey are also motivic in the sense that drawing in pencil only has those shades. In artistic terms i never evolve into the world of color, therefor i remain in the world of pencil sketching with precision the shapes and forms of things, perfectly but with out the depth of color which is so innately part of our natural world.

Objects of an action drawn into existence is part of the objectivist idea of poetry(william carlos williams). If you present the objects simply and objectively they will hold all the meaning necessary. I dont quite fall into the pure objectivist perspective, so my phrase is more of a paradoxial commentary, like echers hands drawing themselves into existence, the action that the objects imply is a window into the artistic ideals of the person performing the action. It is an abstract window, what is actually being drawn then is not an objective image but an abstract concept defined by the invariant linkages between metaphors through out the poem. I admit this is not immediately clear, it takes some serious thought into the figurative language of the poem. i have thought of ways to make it more clear but for now im leavin it alone until i am inspired to work on it some more.

[Rick Puetter]

Hi Sam,

Thanks for your note explaining some of the thoughts you hoped to express in this poem, for while I could eek out a few aspects of this, many parts of the poem were (and remain) obscure to me. We've had this discussion before. I like more directness in poetry and you like to hide and suggest meaning. So I will not belabor that point. Still, as others have commented, there are some beautiful phrases here. The third stanza is wonderful. And I think I got the fourth stanza--beautiful, too. And the circle of the moon is so nicely addressed in the last stanza. However I have no idea what the last two lines mean.

Best regards,

Rick

[Samuel Ferris]

The poem is kinda of en encapsulation my artistic philosophy. It comes from my reading of "concerning the spirit in art" by Kandinsky, and what iv read of Portrait of an Artist as a Young man by Joyce. The basic idea is the that the refinement of technique and ability no matter how crystalline and perfect, if used for mere imitation is not wholly beautiful. The absence of color then becomes a metaphor for the beauty that i havent been able to capture and infuse into my drawings, or creative endeavors.

[JENY]

My god....I cant pierce through your mind....
Why...Samuel....
What made you.....like this.....
If your beauty were a square...
I would have....smoothed..its edges....
Because..perfection is not the cause of beauty.....
Perfection ...kills beauty....

Samuel....please.....help me....
Help me to disentangle your poem...
Give me a thread....about its inner meaning....
I will write...a detailed review...please

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

Have i captured your silver blood
and the curve of your hips? Have
i severed you from the page?

mmm that stanza is so sensual and elegant..

this might be one of my favourite writes of yours thus far! spare and compelling.. gorgeous stuff, this

[there is no more from m..]

grate poem fantastic :)