The Local Travel...

The Local Travel...

A Story by Hamza

It was written way back in October last year .. the day i chose to walk away from the people who i considered my best friends .. they did something i never expected them to least not with me..

Once someone was quoted as saying, "There's always a first time, a
firsthand experience of everything."

You always and everyday do something that is out-of-routine that keeps
on adding tiny pieces of experience to your ever growing life. People
who say that old people are highly experienced aren't wrong. We do
gain new knowledge about this life with every moment that sees us

Coming back to the topic...
today as it is a fresh day in everybody's life, it is another fresh
experience in my life...

Life In A Local Travel...

In the beginning, I had this mutually governed transport at my
disposal. Happy days as they were, everything was perfectly in
synchronisation. There was a time when I always anticipated going in
that vehicle... the jolliest and the brightest looking thing, because
of those hearty creatures.
There were pranks, jokes, smiles, laughter and every other emotion we
know of. It was a happy travel.
But as I always say, "happy moments do not last long."
One day it had to end...
And so it did...
Parting ways is the least interesting thing we can ever talk about and
so I'll not.
Now as I sit here in this not-so-familiar vehicle, I find nothing
interesting. I never thought I'd share my seat with someone other than
my friends, my hearts ... but now I shared it with 16 different
It wasn't long before when I used think of the pleasant smiles and
laughter unlimited as the reason for boarding that vehicle. But people
here board this vehicle just to reach their destination.
And is this not what I'm doing now too...?

There is no feeling ... no emotion ... no expression...

All I know is that I sit… amongst strangers ...

With my heart still amongst those who I was once proud to say that
they were mine...

time changes yet so quickly ... Strange ...

© 2012 Hamza

My Review

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I'm a little curious as to why the friendship ended. Your bond with your friends was obviously strong, so it's hard to imagine what could sever that. All in all, this is a very good piece of writing. However, I've got one thing to say (but it's pretty long). Remember that poems are a much looser form of story telling so it's ok to have wrong punctuation and capitalization and grammar and whatever. You can just call it poetic and it'll shut everyone up. For stories to work, though, you've got to keep them as clean as possible. No run on sentences, capitalize what needs to be capitalized, break up paragraphs, use the right punctuating, etc. If you don't do this stuff, it's either a long and rambling poem that needs to be shaved down or a story that needs to be fixed up. You can't really have it in the middle.
Sorry for getting after you :P I'm very serious about the stories that I read, though. I've got high standards for all of them. If you fix this one up a bit it'll be simply amazing!!!

Posted 8 Years Ago

nice,its true

Posted 8 Years Ago

Nicely done

Posted 8 Years Ago

Nice write

Posted 8 Years Ago

The theme is good as one day or the other all good things have to come to an end. If you had stated the reason for the end of friendship,this writing would have been great! Without the reason for writing this piece, I think some people may not be able to comprehend it completely. Apart from this, I like it..

Posted 8 Years Ago

Hi Hamza, it is difficult to relate to this piece as one needs to understand the cultural context to make sense of it.

Posted 8 Years Ago

nice work

Posted 8 Years Ago

this write is made relevant by the simple fact that we all share the same experience at one time or another. all of a sudden we are cast into a social void, wondering what became of the human factor in everyday life. well written and a great reminder of our failings with each other as human beings. awesome!

Posted 8 Years Ago

there is something about your stories and poems that keeps me interested in everything you write.
man you deserve a lot of praise for showing this originality in your work.
not many know this art

Posted 8 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


8 Years Ago

i don't know if i deserve this much praise
but yes, i write what i usually feel and this i do.. read more

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10 Reviews
Added on October 19, 2012
Last Updated on October 19, 2012
Tags: travel, alone, interesting, painful, smile, tears, thinking, era, timers, people, me, us, you, emotion, expression, laughter, destination, strangers, known, mine.



Jammu, Jammu & kashmir, India

Hamza .. that's me .. An Engineer by profession and a writer by Emotion ... I am 26... I am no different, I am not special .. I'm just a different face, and a few different fingerprints .. I am.. more..

Sometimes ... Sometimes ...

A Poem by Hamza

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