Kisses

Kisses
By Haley Farrin
10/19/09

As we start to lean in my thoughts rushing the butterflies start in
I dont know what to do I'm nervous
We are so close I can feel your breath on my face
I can feel the heat coming of your face and I can feel your heartbeat
Finally our lips touch all these feelings rushing through me
I don't want to pull away I wish we could stay like that forever
After a minute we pull away
We just sit there holding each other
The feeling i feel is indescribable
Now that your gone I miss that feeling
I'd do anything to feel the touch of your lips on mine again

 

Reviews

[gravitylava]

You should edit it so it flows better.
For example:
As we lean in, my thoughts rushing, the butterflies start.

And again, I don't believe you. It's the same words I've heard so many people say before. Make this feeling your own, something only you can feel, and then share that with the readers.
:)
(And I'm only trying to help you with your writing, not trying to be a prick and make you feel bad)

[Rose Angel]

I love the passion the love and the greatness that radiates from it! HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!

[Nicole]

This reminds me of Cloverfield.
I really like this.
I love the passion in it.
Very good write.