Just Wright

I would have written a Novel...but I had to mow the lawn.

Just Wright

Loving, looking, pounce

Match my interest ounce for ounce

Eating up your gentle touch

You make me smile….heavy, audible sigh

 

Laughing, craving, fun

Meet me in the midnight sun

I’ll carry you upon my back

You make me blush….snuggle, cuddle high

 

Longing, searching, found

Perfect day when you’re around

Run my fingers through your hair

You make me more….growing, knowing die

 

I swear you are just wright

Author's Note

Hope your day is a good one!

Reviews

[Devons]

This is an unconventional love poem with a song-like quality and a cadence which trips off the tongue satisfyingly. There is a peculiarity about it which makes you think a little beyond the superficial; a hint of the abstract, as though it is a dream of perfection which would apparently be unattainable - but it retains a sense of truth, appearing to describe someone that is very real. It cannot be determined why this is, but the impression is there all the same. The use of the word "wright" is intriguing, as though this love has been crafted, or is the perfect craftsmanship.. And "...growing, knowing die.." is quite a mysterious phrase, which also leaves one with a feeling rather than a definition. The "wright" and "knowing die" together, though, create an overall sense of a perfectly-formed life, where understanding of existence itself is ultimately realised through the love of this ideal one.
Interesting work, with a smart technique, and unusual symbolic, faint abstract style which paints a picture that is a little more than the average poem of its genre.

[FlawedByDesign]

Like Dinesh said, the intro is priceless - lol :D
It's an easy going and heartwarming write and aren't you "oh so sweet" with "Perfect day when you’re around" :P

The only thing that stands out for me and I do not quite understand given the sweet, loving undertone of the poem is, "knowing die" :S

Well done.

[.]

Ah, You getting all sentimental..heavy, audible sigh :)

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

this is so incredibly sweet! i love the flow of it.. it feels like lyrics!

*makes you a giant bowl of p'butter crunch* your reward for such a gentle happy write that made me smile this monday morning

[Dinesh Sairam]

"I would have written a Novel...but I had to mow the lawn" - Haha :P This is the best line of the whole poem :P

A feel-good poem. More like the blues from earlier musicals. Reminded me of Motown record's classics by the Supremes, Diana Ross, Stevie Wonder and the Jackson 5. Since I hardly know about the others, I'll quote a song done by the J5 :

"You better get it together
Or leave it alone
If you don't want my lovin'
I'll be gone
Get up, get up, get up

Get up off your high horse girl
Think what you're doin', doin'
Get up off your high horse girl
Think what you're doin', doin'

(I'm spinnin' around)
I'm spinnin' around
On your merry-go-round
You got me dizzy, dizzy, dizzy, dizzy, dizzy

Get it together
Or leave it alone
If you don't want my lovin'
I'll be gone
Now, now baby

Get it together
or leave it alone
If you don't want my lovin'
I'll be gone

Get up off your high horse girl
Think what you're doin', doin'
Get up off your high horse girl
Think what you're doin', doin'

I can't stand all this confusion
All this shuckin' and jivin'
Keeps puttin' me down, down, down

Get it together
Or leave it alone
If you don't want my lovin'
I'll be gone

Think girl, what you're doin'
Throwin' this heart of mine all away
Oh, think girl, you know I love ya
To keep a love like mine is hard this day

Get it together
Or leave it alone
If you don't want my lovin'
I'll be gone"

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9cADOfmGBI)

Enjoy hearing it. This is a wonderful write. Soothing in some sense :)

Keep writing.

[OkieWonKenokie]

Beautiful. I love the rhyming patter in this. Just wondering would it "Just Right"? or did you intentionally put "Just Wright"? Anyways, great write though. Love this one, too.