child of mine

you may be 2 or 3 or 4

you might just even be more

but your my life and i love u so

so my love will grow and grow

 

it starts at birth and carrys on

because you are my loving one

it means too much to watch you grow

and mothesr never ever let go

 

though you hate me asking ..how?

i love you then and i love you now

so dont matter if your 3  or 4

you know i will love you more and more

 

the teenage years have come an gone

now youve passed age 21

but remember all the joys you bring

you really make my heart sing

 

as the years go rolling by

some with laughter ,some with cry

just remember as time goes by

i love you now and always will

even when im over the hill

 

life together and death wont part

because i carry you in my heart.

 

"love you child of mine"

Reviews

[farstars]

Hm. The concept of this poem is thoughtful and it makes me smile. But I don't like the way you've executed it because it has no relevance to me. You've only told a story, and haven't injected it with metaphor, imagery, anything I can cling onto so that you can show me the beautiful in these thoughts that caused you to write a poem. I understand that perhaps you wrote this poem for yourself and perhaps your family, but you posted it here and so I think it has to appeal to a wider audience. I understand what you're saying but I'd like to be able to see your point of view. Compare the years that 'roll by' to a current of waves that get larger as they rush towards your face. Tell me that when it 'starts at birth', it's actually the birthing of a comet, and it's going to shine very brightly. And then it proceeds to a supernova, and explodes your life. I'm not telling you to do literally this, just giving examples. I hope I helped. I do think the concept of the poem is lovely. (: