Choke me

For you

I shut my mouth

choking me slowly now

resisting the urge to shout

suppressing each of my words

snuffing out each little breath

a jaded embrace

For you

I close my eyes

my thoughts withheld

just your feeble little lamb

my abilities for you to despise

no prince charming do I see

just an Antichrist

For you

I plug my ears

blocking each and every lie

 mixing truth with fictional fears

wiping the spit from my eye

deaf and arrogant

egotistical a*s

For you

I hide my hands

fist clasped tightly behind my back

fingers pressed upon my pulsating gland

ready for another truce-less attack

choking me slowly now

in peaceful solitude

Reviews

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

I understand this sort of hell intimately~ you bring its raw edges out from the victim who won't be victimized to the vivid forefront~

I was talking to someone about this sort of non relationship nightmare the other day and she had asked why I was accomodating at my own emotional peril~ I told her I wasn't ~I was appeasing~ I said something like this

when you "accomodate" someone it's because you genuinely care about their emotions and mental well being~ when you "appease" someone it's to shut their whiny f***ing mouth the f*** up already~ =)~

these mental vampires abound~ and you gotta have some extremely strong reserves to survive their merciless canines~

powerful with impact~ perfectly described~

[Lisa Ring]

I know the Antichrist who tries to destroy all that is beautiful or better than him, in any way. Once loved and worshipped for her inner and outer beauty, she becomes an object over time. A lightbulb to be dimmed. Something to be controlled, then hated, then destroyed. At first she fights it but after losing repeatedly to the strength of his hatred, she fights in her mind and allows the hate to spread, yet her body surrenders.

[Muse]

wow Lisa...you read my mind...literally. xo

[Lisa Ring]

Or you read mine ;) I relate completely and I think you did a wonderful job.

[axel]

melancholic poem, but keep the words/writing in normal order, good poem

[Muse]

thanks for the review...but true poetry is an artistic expression..there is no "normal" order.

[axel]

well there is , that is if you want the reader to LIVE the words not just to READ the words, it is a good poem though

[Muse]

hmm...whatever.

[axel]

yeah,just remember, we need to LIVE your words ,it was a good job ,only you could have done betterread moreyeah,just remember, we need to LIVE your words ,it was a good job ,only you could have done better

[Kristallo]

I thought she did fine, and I don't think that a poem has to be orderly and 'structured' in order for the reader to live through their words. It has to have depth, soul, a message; any creative endeavor is held back so long as the artist is trying to limit themselves with rules... but that's just my opinion on it.

[Muse]

I'm all for constructive reviews. But when someone says you can do better...without providing any examples...well...it's just best to say nothing...or don't review me at all. lol

[Kristallo]

Yes, I agree. :P

[Muse]

ha ha ha...sorry...it's Friday...feeling a little errr. ha ha ha

[Kristallo]

It aggravates me when people here act like a lost puppy because a poem isn't following a perfect rhyme scheme, or isn't structured the way they *think* it ought to be. It's silly, really.. i've gotten a few reviews where I was scolded for not being structured enough, and they point that I wasn't TRYING to be seems to go completely over their heads... but whatever, lol. To each their own.

[Muse]

I always felt like my best writing...was a result of not trying to conform. It isn't any different than art. Words are art. No right or wrong. Technical writing is for amateurs that need a "BASIS" to learn from.

[Kristallo]

My sentiments exactly. I'm a painter also, and I treat both artistic outlets in the same regard, as you described, by not trying to conform to any preconceived notion of 'good' or 'bad.' It doesn't matter anyway, as long as it is cathartic for you and if you're lucky, it touches someone else, too. :)

[axel]

well ,best of luck in all your endeavours,ok

[Crazy Cat Man]

wow this is brutal and hard to read......im surprised that u wrote this piece becuz its the complete opposite of some your more beautiful sensual pieces. im impressed that u can also write dark poetry. wow great piece

[Ian H Morrison]

wow heavy this is so well written that i feel guilty that is how good you have written this if it is from personal experience the apoligise for all mankind.

[Freedom's Child]

Great job on expressing all the emotions and I love the disturbing imagery. Very powerful.

[Michael of Gilead]

Wow....strong wite....disturbing too

[Amila Jay]

A great piece of writing :))

[MoriartyMesa]

This cuts right to the Heart, Liver and Lungs, like seeing a car crash and the victim claiming all the fault, it was Masterfully written, every emotional and more importantly, had to have been based in fact.


Best work often is.

[...]

This is profoundly submerged in the ache of living!

[Erin]

love it