The Lightness and Darkness of Passion

The Lightness and Darkness of Passion

It blazes like a thousand stars across the night sky.

As it heats up the dark cold void between,

Those who are open revel in its all-consuming fire.

Like fog, it flows freely across the waters of desire.

It is a mist that comes in the quiet morning,

However, it builds in the pure bright light of the day.

It can be given to those who willingly accept it. 

Growing as it is shared between undulating souls,

It is endlessly replenished as it is freely spent.

Even so, if it is taken or wrenched from another.

If one asks, demands or takes it with force,

It will come into existence as a mutated, dwarf star.

Its corruption will create a black hole at its center,

Soon consuming itself and all those around it. 

No longer will the heat of passion emanate from it.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use of words and thoughts.
"It can be given to those who willingly accept it.
Growing as it is shared between undulating souls,
It is endlessly replenished as it is freely spent."
The above lines. True and worthwhile. I wanted to know more. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reading and reviewing this writing. I love it when I can do a parallel meaning between the cosmos (astronomy and metaphysics are both very close to my heart and mind) and the human experience.

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed this poem and you are welcome.

[Zaliodir]

I enjoyed how you metaphorically talk about passion, and the comparisons with light and dark. Beautiful poem. It reminded me of the balance in the void between light and dark, just as there must always be balance here too.

[H.L. Cerveise]

I am glad you liked it and yes it is always about the balance.

[Emily]

Great poem!!
Loved every word of it!
Keep on writing!

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thanks for reading and reviewing the poem. I am glad you loved it.

[Luisa König]

Good job :)
A topic I've personally never written about. Very beautiful and interesting, though

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thanks for reading and reviewing the poem.

[William Liston]

I like how you related the abstrct to outer space; it really helped get your point across. Great work as always.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. I just can't help myself when it comes to the cosmos and how it all connects us.

[Diamond]

I love this, especially the middle 3 lines!

[H.L. Cerveise]

Glad you like it, barelygirl suggested more of a metaphor approach in the last stanza. I like it better this way. I also split off the first three lines of the last stanza to act as a transition and summary of the light side. I kept the darkness all in the last section, and I hope it comes across a little more balanced without losing the darkness. The darkness in this piece is important to me because of those I have seen hurt by corrupted passion.

[barleygirl]

I love the first stanza & felt the lightness and the darkness was addressed in this way. In the second stanza, I see that this is what you meant by "darkness" and it just feels too dark & unbalanced to me. It turns a lighthearted & delightful read into a heavy preachy downer. Even tho everything you say in the second stanza is true & very important to say, it would feel less heavy if you could find a metaphor in nature to represent these principles, rather than going preachy & direct. This would make the two stanzas balanced in the way the lightness & darkness are painted in the first stanza.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Hum, I liked your suggestion. I broke up the last stanza and rewrote it. Plus added some pictures

[barleygirl]

I like this much better now. Thanks for accepting my criticisms.

[samarahmed]

This was so fresh and dreamy, enjoyed it

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you so much. I wrote it a while back; however I made some changes to it right before publishing it here.

[H.L. Cerveise]

I rewrote this poem at the suggestion of barleygirl. I like it better now. Let me know what you think.