Please help me choose a title

Please help me choose a title

A Poem by mattavelli
"

I plan to submit this poem for Publication. I'd appreciate any advice or suggestions you may have.

"


it's hard to state just how bizarre 
Our efforts to seem special are, 
as life's become a clearance sale 
where reason's swapped for fairy tale; 
and repetition seems our way, 
to cling to comfort, rarely stray;  
and when we do 
the thrill and dread collide. 
And when the new world rises 
It will be our ways that died. 

So let's get rid of special, 
and ignore the branders' screams 
that frenzy us with slogans 
and distract us from our dreams; 
let’s rip our minds wide open 
so our souls can touch what's real, 
and savor every heartbeat 
as we watch our culture heal. 

Let's toss away religion 
and forget to fear the dark, 
and love ourselves in everyone 
and shape a world less stark; 
and marvel at our feet, 
they've spread our species so diverse; 
and focus on the betterment 
and share to change the worse. 

Let's celebrate the value 
and the values of our kin, 
place children above trophies 
as their epic tales begin; 
and recognize that feelings 
are the seed of every act, 
that want is all we do, 
and all we know hangs from that fact. 

Let's want to make a better world 
and want to share the feast. 
Let's want our lives to matter 
more than some obnoxious beast; 
but let the need to shine be stripped 
and fed back to the stars, 
so our whole race can gleam in grace

and know the light is ours.

 

© 2019 mattavelli


Author's Note

mattavelli
Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think.

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Reviews

what a caring, noble write. smooth flow filled with the right stuff. we are all brothers and sisters with more similarities than differences. all life is special and should be treated as such. the media, culture are offering the illusion of being someone or something else by obtaining things - temporary escapes that ultimately don't & can't change a thing. "False Magic" came to mind, "Winning The Race" perhaps, not sure ... :)

Posted 4 Days Ago


mattavelli

4 Days Ago

Thanks for reading and the suggestions, Pete! :)
"A Call to Reason" or "The Light is Ours" I feel would be fitting titles, that's just my 2cents. This is a gorgeous poem, the rhyme and rhythm are so satisfying. One of my favorite things to do with poetry is to read it out loud and this one just flows out of the mouth.

Posted 5 Days Ago


mattavelli

5 Days Ago

Thanks for reading, Summer! :)
Loved this poem and your skillful use of rhythm and rhyme in your plea to better the world. Some lines are real standouts: "let's toss away religion and forget to fear the dark," "let the need to shine be stripped and fed back to the stars" I agree with Julie about the title "The light is ours." Well done Mattavelli!

Posted 5 Days Ago


mattavelli

5 Days Ago

Thanks for reading, Sherri! :)
Such beautiful thoughts shared in this wonderful poem. Wouldn't it be lovely.....
I think I would call the poem "The Light is Ours".
Julie


Posted 1 Week Ago


mattavelli

1 Week Ago

Thanks for reading, MsJewel! :)
That would be a great title.
Children do create Epic Tales... a beautiful line. Each of us has the “right” to believe what they feel and experience through observation.. as long as we permit others to do the same.
My Religion is based on the Spirit that is “brought to light” when each Baby is born. Our Spirit stays with us until we take our last breath. The Great Mystery is— What happens to that Spirit when we Pass? No one has the “Right” to Demand that others feel a Certain Philosophy. I Rest my Case. P.s. I can only say the above as a Critique. We all must be our own Poet with unique words and nuggets of wisdom.
gently, Pat

Posted 1 Week Ago


mattavelli

1 Week Ago

Thank you for reading, Patricia! :)
The religions that I've come into contact with have been .. read more
A skilled write, uplifting and with a strong message. Particularly liked your third stanza. Religion is a curse in my opinion, has caused more wars than anything. Without it, I am sure there would be more peace. We all need to be a little kinder to each other. Great work mattavelli.

Chris

Posted 1 Week Ago


mattavelli

1 Week Ago

Thanks for reading, Christine! :)
Worship is a disgusting behavior, and religious faith turns.. read more
Before lockdown, I could have joined 5 religions 4 cults all promising everlasting life and peace.
Strangely enough, they all looked miserable. I should have told them to join writers cafe and cheer up.

Posted 1 Week Ago


mattavelli

1 Week Ago

Thanks for reading, Paul! :)
I’m sure you could still get into a Skype service. Haha
I think there is a good message here. It seems we are too wrapped up in”things” and perhaps religion too and we forget about basic values of ourselves and others; instead of simply thinking about ourselves and our possessions, let share the wealth, let’s try to make our world a better place for everyone....no matter the faith, the skin color, let’s celebrate life together.

Posted 1 Week Ago


mattavelli

1 Week Ago

Thanks for reading, Betty! :)
Happy Easter! I miss not seeing you more often here. You're a great writer! I love your message here, but it seems a little outdated to me. I can't remember a time recently when people seemed to crave specialness. It seems to me that life is all about tearing others down now. We've blown right by being special. Everyone is a piece of s**t. It's bound to come out sooner or later. But I do agree that anyone trying to be special is putting on a show on another planet anymore. You pick out snappy details to show what a non-special life can give in abundance (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


mattavelli

2 Weeks Ago

Hello, Barleygirl, happy Easter, and thanks for reading and the compliments! :)
I think peop.. read more
barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

I love that Camus quote. A friend of mine thanked me the other day for calling him "normal" (as cont.. read more
What an incredible poem! So full of hope.

What to call it? I'm not quite sure.

In a perfect world? Or, the crabs climbed out of the bucket on the backs of their kin?
I suck at titles. :)

Posted 8 Months Ago


mattavelli

7 Months Ago

Thanks for reading, Ana! :)

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Added on August 24, 2019
Last Updated on August 24, 2019

Author

mattavelli
mattavelli

FL



About
LIFE IS A PARTY. DON'T BE A PINATA. ------------------- Hello, Welcome to My page. I'm Matt. I enjoy reading and writing poetry. If you have a poem that you'd like me to read, please let me know .. more..

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