Mind Twist

A pantoum inspired by the faithful :p

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If you would let me twist your mind,

you’d see the spiral of my thought,

where any answers you might find

could be the very faith I sought.

 

You’d see the spiral of my thought,

a lie that you are flawed from birth;

could be the very faith I sought

is your denial of your worth.

 

A lie that you are flawed from birth;

it could be true, don’t toss the dice.

Is your denial of your worth

not worth eternal paradise?

 

It could be true, don’t toss the dice.

There’s nothing earthly worth your soul,

not worth eternal paradise.

Relax to it. Give me control.

 

There’s nothing earthly worth your soul.

Let worship cleanse your heart of sin.

Relax to it. Give me control

and let the current feed the spin.

 

Let worship cleanse your heart of sin.

Yes, slip into this bless-ed sea

and let the current feed the spin.

Embrace your gullibility.

 

Yes, slip into this bless-ed sea

where any answers you might find

embrace your gullibility

if you would let me twist your mind.

 

 

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think.

Reviews

[KWP]

What is this type of poem called? Remember I cannot! Duh.

I was listening to a podcast today about how culture and tradition is malleable. Your words above reminded me of this. In this world today we have all taken knowledge, wisdoms, we have taken the earth, we all believe we are right. But know, if we take we must give, and understand we have come this far, it's just a turn around the corner to ultimate acceptance and equanimity.

And, just like your poem, it's all a bit confusing :D

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading! :)

[Relic]

I've seen this form before. I have to admit I get a little confused when reading a pantoam. I have to try and remember what was said in the last stanza even though lines are repeated being there's something else added to them. Hope that makes sense.

You do know more than I do about these forms.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Relic! :)
You should write a pantoum, then I can read it and be confused. Haha

[Relic]

............................😁😃😅

[Suzanne Sonderleigh]

I love poems that repeat lines for emphasis. Thought-provoking for me. I’m not sure if this is the direction you were going, but it spoke to me saying Let Go and Let God. It could represent many ideas to different people. Well written!

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Suzanne! :)

[Dave Brown]

Unfortunately I have to take medication to keep my mind where it is and any further twisting (by You) could be its undoing
But thanks for the offer.
Were U able 2 follow my directions

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Dave! :)

[Lydia Shutter]

I liked the repetition of lines throughout this poem. We all have worth....those who do not recognize their own worth have a difficult time in life. There is much introspection here and a lot of thought provoking lines. Good one. Lydi**

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Lydia! :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

The intricate and sophisticated process you laid on this is in a creative class all its own! Definitely a piece to read over and over and grow from! Excellent!

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Travis! :)
What does your tattoo say?

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Hero to few... the accompanying tat is on my back, and reads: Villain to many.

[Light]

not fair! You already twisted our minds but the problem that You left us with no real answer of (yes or no), truth I wouldn't mind at all for someone to twist my mind and do the "fixing" for me but I think this would be impossible LOL ok real review now :) this is smart Matt, You really stired the brain and the form You chose was perfect along your "twisting play" I believe the answer is different for each individual, your job was not to give the answer but to motivate finding it, and You did :)

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Light! :)
I'm just parading the absurdity of it. Haha
It hurts me to see people confuse abuse with love.

[Light]

keep parading my friend :)

[Miss Sharon]

I like this write very much! It is deeply spiritual and filled with wisdom. Your words have blessed me today! ~Sharon

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Sharon! :)

[Stan Lee]

I love it....................

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Stan! :)

[Fran Marie]

you've mastered this form
great writing in both
form and content;for
sure not the easiest
to write..I've done 2
of these

but one got deleted
by mistake.
never to be found again
well done Matt

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Fran! :)
I'm sorry you lost your writing. Is the other posted here? Id like to read it.

[Fran Marie]

you're welcome Matt
seems you found it
and I thank you again
where the heck
read moreyou're welcome Matt
seems you found it
and I thank you again
where the heck
did those 5 years
fly to so fast.haha
I had thrown my drafts
away after posting
the lost one ..could
not retrieve it..at the
time I was editing and
hit a wrong button
sestinas are harder
to write ..if you
want to pull your
hair out ..try one
one those..lol

[mattavelli]

"where the heck"... Glitch. We're falling apart. Haha

[Fran Marie]

yes a glitch..
my reply didn't
go through.
all the way
just was referring
wth
happened to
those 5 years;