Mind Twist

Mind Twist

A Poem by mattavelli
"

A pantoum inspired by the faithful :p

"
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If you would let me twist your mind,

you’d see the spiral of my thought,

where any answers you might find

could be the very faith I sought.

 

You’d see the spiral of my thought,

a lie that you are flawed from birth;

could be the very faith I sought

is your denial of your worth.

 

A lie that you are flawed from birth;

it could be true, don’t toss the dice.

Is your denial of your worth

not worth eternal paradise?

 

It could be true, don’t toss the dice.

There’s nothing earthly worth your soul,

not worth eternal paradise.

Relax to it. Give me control.

 

There’s nothing earthly worth your soul.

Let worship cleanse your heart of sin.

Relax to it. Give me control

and let the current feed the spin.

 

Let worship cleanse your heart of sin.

Yes, slip into this bless-ed sea

and let the current feed the spin.

Embrace your gullibility.

 

Yes, slip into this bless-ed sea

where any answers you might find

embrace your gullibility

if you would let me twist your mind.

 


 

© 2021 mattavelli


Author's Note

mattavelli
Please let me know what you think.

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Featured Review

I'd have to agree with Rew on much of what she said. And I too will have to do some pantoum research, also. However, I found your words to be asking for other religions to be cast off, put aside, and to find religion in your words (?). Is that right?


Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

JE Falcon

1 Month Ago

Hmm, I didn't get that. Sin is just another word for lawless, and humans love to be so, in one way o.. read more
mattavelli

1 Month Ago

It’s a judgement applied to people of other tribes/religions, something that is cleansed by invest.. read more
JE Falcon

1 Month Ago

Strange things happen when philosophy and religion meet, even stranger when they mate.



Reviews

So beautiful and heartfelt. I enjoyed the depth of your words

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

10 Hours Ago

Thanks for reading! :)
I'd have to agree with Rew on much of what she said. And I too will have to do some pantoum research, also. However, I found your words to be asking for other religions to be cast off, put aside, and to find religion in your words (?). Is that right?


Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

JE Falcon

1 Month Ago

Hmm, I didn't get that. Sin is just another word for lawless, and humans love to be so, in one way o.. read more
mattavelli

1 Month Ago

It’s a judgement applied to people of other tribes/religions, something that is cleansed by invest.. read more
JE Falcon

1 Month Ago

Strange things happen when philosophy and religion meet, even stranger when they mate.
WOW!! I love this piece, love that last stanza a lot,
very poetic, I feel this has religious feel to it.
nicely written and presented

Posted 4 Months Ago


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Rew
I haven't come across a pantoum before (I shall explore this form later,)
Your interpretation of the form seems very hypnotic. (I've not seen one before so nothing to go on)

Although on first glance it seems religious.
I think this particular one is a skit, an exposé, of religion of what it can and does do, namely, hypnotizes.

I've no axe to grind regarding religion.

It can bring comfort to some and, a good living to others.

So, that's what I think.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

4 Months Ago

Thanks for reading, Rew! :)
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Ada
I don't believe in being flawed from birth or the concept of original sin but your piece suggests that redemption is possible. Nice

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

4 Months Ago

Thanks for reading, Ada! :)
Wow, This is so profound and so well written.
So well intriguing as well, I have my spin on religion as well.
Thought about writing it, but can't get myself to.
This is wonderful

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

4 Months Ago

Thanks for reading! :)
Hoo! And I thought I had a some critical ideas! My brother, you and will never be simple sheep! Of course, if their were more of us... Well spoken, I say, well spoken!

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

4 Months Ago

Thanks for reading! :)
M. J. Smith

4 Months Ago

You're welcome
Oh, I haven't written one of these in a long time. You've inspired me. This is on today's to-do list.
Great poem by the way.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

5 Months Ago

Thanks for reading, Cherrie! :)
Truths so vague allowing the answers to twist distortions into truths. Give it up to a god who can't really give.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

5 Months Ago

Ooh, I'll check those out. :)
I think you should write a pantoum. They can be fun puzzles to .. read more
William Michael Reeves

5 Months Ago

Wow! I was just thinking about turning this one idea into a Pentoum and then I read that. I'm on it!
mattavelli

5 Months Ago

Awesome! I'll watch for the post. :)
This is a form I am not familiar with. From what I read you are trying to trick the mind with foolery that someone will believe; and the repetition just proves it; we humans are all flawed, but not from birth; that is for the gullible; and I don't believe for once that worship would cleanse my soul, or anybody else's for that matter; but I think I get the point, even though I'm not gullible enough to accept it.
Well written Mat.. even though it it above my head!
Best, B

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

7 Months Ago

Thanks for reading, Betty! :)
Its satire, a poke at christianity. The whole religion seems li.. read more
Betty Hermelee

7 Months Ago

Me too, and you’re very welcome mat!
Best
B.

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Added on April 26, 2021
Last Updated on April 26, 2021

Author

mattavelli
mattavelli

FL



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LIFE IS A PARTY. DON'T BE A PINATA. ------------------- Hello, Thanks for visiting my page. I'm Matt. I enjoy reading and writing poetry. If you have a poem that you'd like me to read, please let.. more..

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