Mind Twist

Mind Twist

A Poem by mattavelli
"

A pantoum inspired by the faithful :p

"
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If you would let me twist your mind,

you’d see the spiral of my thought,

where any answers you might find

could be the very faith I sought.

 

You’d see the spiral of my thought,

a lie that you are flawed from birth;

could be the very faith I sought

is your denial of your worth.

 

A lie that you are flawed from birth;

it could be true, don’t toss the dice.

Is your denial of your worth

not worth eternal paradise?

 

It could be true, don’t toss the dice.

There’s nothing earthly worth your soul,

not worth eternal paradise.

Relax to it. Give me control.

 

There’s nothing earthly worth your soul.

Let worship cleanse your heart of sin.

Relax to it. Give me control

and let the current feed the spin.

 

Let worship cleanse your heart of sin.

Yes, slip into this bless-ed sea

and let the current feed the spin.

Embrace your gullibility.

 

Yes, slip into this bless-ed sea

where any answers you might find

embrace your gullibility

if you would let me twist your mind.

 


 

© 2021 mattavelli


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Author's Note

mattavelli
Please let me know what you think.

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Featured Review

Good to get your mind twisted. Keep the mind alive and working.
"Yes, slip into this bless-ed sea
where any answers you might find
embrace your gullibility
if you would let me twist your mind."
I did like the above lines. It is easy to twist some people. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

1 Year Ago

Thanks for reading! :)



Reviews

I like this write very much! It is deeply spiritual and filled with wisdom. Your words have blessed me today! ~Sharon

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Thanks for reading, Sharon! :)
I love it....................

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Thanks for reading, Stan! :)
you've mastered this form
great writing in both
form and content;for
sure not the easiest
to write..I've done 2
of these

but one got deleted
by mistake.
never to be found again
well done Matt



Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

  Fran Marie

3 Years Ago

you're welcome Matt
seems you found it
and I thank you again
where the heck
read more
mattavelli

3 Years Ago

"where the heck"... Glitch. We're falling apart. Haha
  Fran Marie

3 Years Ago

yes a glitch..
my reply didn't
go through.
all the way
just was referrin.. read more
Just revisited this one. Sometimes I just like to do that. You write structed verse so well. Not many have that gift.

Chris

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Thanks for the revisit, Christine! :)
My trick is long sentences. I like to use 8 syllables p.. read more
Chris Shaw

3 Years Ago

I often use 8 syllables too. Suits my writing style. Thank you for the offer of collaboration. After.. read more
mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Disasters aren't so bad. Haha
Ive written with maybe ten others here, but not lately. There w.. read more
very thought provoking. Good writing makes the reader question aspects of themselves. Their sins, their virtues, what defines them or their nature. When I read this I think of my mom, my father, and myself. My mom was hypocritical in her beliefs in faith, my father was an alcoholic and abuser, and I carried aspects of what defined them. Love can be addictive and destructive, hate can be addictive and destructive, faith can do all these things. Addiction is a powerful drug and encompasses many aspects of self. We as frail human beings can turn our best qualities of virtue into sin. Unlike animals we know we are doing wrong, yet refuse to change. I don't want my thoughts to be construed as an indictment on religion. Religious fervor has given the world beautiful things unimaginable. But contains a destructive nature. As writers and storytellers we try to stay objective allowing the characters we create to speak for themselves. But between the words there are pieces of us that are revealed. Whether intentional or not. I try my best to not present a nihilistic view of the world when I can. Though at times I can see when its use is needed, in order to push humanity into action. Or at best make an individual recognize the wrong within them, and try to want to change. Continued success, Matt, your child is lucky to have a father like you.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Thanks for reading and sharing your self and thoughts, Carlos! :)
I've enjoyed reading your .. read more
Beautiful poem
I love this
The most powerful were the first two sentences
A great write ✍️

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Thanks, Julie! :)
I'm wasn't familiar with this form- pantoum. Makes for a fun read. Really drives home the message with the repetition. Lyrical. Nice poem!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Thanks for reading, John! :)
If you try one of these, let me know. Id like to read it.
John Cardwell

3 Years Ago

It's tempting. I'll let you know!
I find there is way too much mind twisting happening nowadays, be it for faith or other areas of thinking. To be told what to think, follow or feel doesn't sit well with me. Our life and our choices are our own and I'd like to think we are all intelligent enough to make our decisions. It's an interesting form and one that is new to me. Complex and thoughtful poetry. 💛

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Thanks for reading, Marina! :)
Hi Matt. I found this a very masterful poem in its structrure, repetition and rhyme. But not only. Our attention is on the words of the speaker who wants to "twist" (powerful word) the other's mind. A poem that raises questions on faith and lack of it.
S.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Thank you for reading, Sherri! :)
My intent was to share my perspective and raise questions, .. read more
It can be very damaging when someone is told from the time they are young that they are damaged. The self confidence completely drained and the person over time begin later to believe the lie for they are told it so often.

This is a insightful and thought provoking poem that I would hope in some fashion would make people think about the words that come out of their mouth before they do long term damage

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mattavelli

3 Years Ago

Thanks for reading, Poet! :)

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Added on April 26, 2021
Last Updated on April 26, 2021

Author

mattavelli
mattavelli

FL



About
LIFE IS A PARTY. DON'T BE A PINATA. ------------------- Hello, Thanks for visiting my page. I'm Matt. I enjoy reading and writing poetry. If you have a poem that you'd like me to read, please let.. more..

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