Japanese Elder Adopts Orphaned Crane

On Hokkaido's cold turf

the crane teacher stumbles,

heavy legs pounding,

thick elbows flapping

miming a flight.

 

His young crane just watches,

neck stretched, uncertain.

His foot lifts and pauses,

drops while his head turns.

He puzzles the meaning.

 

In high, winded treble

the crane teacher calls him.

They race, brown grass crushed

beneath weeks of running.

They chase a dim sun.

 

Flight dawns in the crane

like world-new religion,

wings beat a prayer.

Impulse and practice

suddenly release him.

 

The crane teacher watches.

Slowly his arms rise,

catch the same current

hold the same wind

as white sun-tipped wings.

Reviews

[W.k.kortas]

There's a lot going on here--the process of discovery, the mentor-student relationship--but what I found most impressive and enjoyable about the piece was the visual nature of the piece (the imagery is very, very nicely drawn) and the lightness of touch in the tone. This, if it wasn't handled with some underlying humor, could have become a turgid morality tale very easily, but this is deftly and skilfully presented. A very fine piece of writing.

[Steven Cash]

Wonderful job.

[Jeff Loquist]

old zen artists only wish they could paint this vividly

[Spat Queen]

I could see sunset colors. I love the rhythm.

[HoorayForUnderdog]

This is a gorgeous poem, Holly! I love it!!

[Lena M. P.]

I smiled as I pictured a very overweight priest flapping his arms teaching a crane to fly. My heart sang when I realized that all the hard work paid off. I very much enjoyed this piece. The imagery was priceless.

[Emily B]

As detailed as a fine painting, executed with deft, light strokes.

[Ken Simm.]

Simply beautifully oriental.