The Bystanders

A brief outline on a murder over 30 people witnessed and did nothing about, (inspired through nosing at someone else's essay lol )

THE BYSTANDERS

You watched as I screamed.

You listened as I cried.

Looking from your windows,

all around,

You watched him attack me

as I lay on the ground.

He left at one stage.

I thought I was safe.

But as I neared my door

he came at me once more.

he still bore his knife and I

felt every slice.

I was still sure you would

come to help me..

but no, you watch. Your silence holds,

as my blood spills out around me,

a blood red halo around my head

as you shrug your shoulders and

head to bed.

I'm left cold and alone, splayed out

on the stone, surrounded

by people, yet murdered...

Because none of you came to help me.

Domestic, you said. just a drunken row.

But it wasn't you know..but it's too late now.

My breath has gone, my heart has stopped.

A stranger took them away, in front of you all

that day, and not a word, did any of you say.

Author's Note

yea I no its a bit 'iffy' but hey..I'm trying lol. All criticisms welcome, considered and employed :)

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this penetrates the conscience...i am originally from NY...and this sounds like something that might have happened there....where people just would not get involved...even knowing what was taking place...either scared or apathetic or just wary...but it is a sad event and sadder that people would be that self-egocentric to only take care of themselves.

a really well written story poem.

j.

[hcarson]

funny you should say that because this is based on Kitty Genovese who was American, I cant recall which part as I haven't actually read into exactly myself just bit but I put two and two together an hope I got it right lol...I'm scared to read it now in case I didn't! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and your kind comment :) much appreciated

[Sylver]

Oh yeah. This immediately reminded me of that tragic story. Good writing, though there were a couple places where I thought the rhythym faltered a little. For example, I would change "But it wasn't you know..but it's too late now" to "but it wasn't, you know, and it's too late now".

Just my nitpicky 2 cents. Good work.

[hcarson]

I agree with you..it dores sound better your way, i will change it to thst i think...thank you for your help, much apprciated :)

[Sylver]

No problem at all. I enjoy dialogues with other writers. Helps me think what'd make my work better.

[hcarson]

Since coming here it has helped me and made me start thinking differently about my writing. I know i have a long way to go and endless amounts to learn but i intend on doing it and ernjoying it while i do :) been great so far, meeting all you other more expoerienced writers,blove it :)

[ANTO]

This is bound to stir up a lot of 'what would I do/have done - in that situation ?" kind of feelings, as it did in me. Self preservation I would think is the main primal thoughts and reasons for not intervening in such horrific violence but some people (as was seen in the case of Lee Rigby) overcome this and find the bravery.
I saw two British soldiers beaten then shot to death here in Belfast and I know for a fact that if anyone had tried to stop it they would have been shot too. Yes it certainly stirs up feelings.

[hcarson]

oh yes, controversial...I guess we would all like to think we would go out and save the day but would we..really? who knows isn't it...i'm sure people have all the good intentions but oe look from their child could stop them in their tracks...just in case..i certainly know what you mean..much easier said than done if it actually happened

[ANTO]

I'm of the mind that heroes present themselves. I saw a guy struck down by a stone wielded by a smaller guy - from behind. I confronted the smaller guy who said the fellow lying on the ground had pulled a knife on him in the chip-shop. Then my bravado left me - not because I judged that justice had been seen to be done but because my adrenalin flushed out of me and I got scared. Bravery is a combination of many things biological and external.

[hcarson]

it is, I think age certainly has a lot to do with it, not so rash as we get older..separating my cat and dog and the cat and hamster fighting is probably my extent of bravery now lol...bloody hamster is a menace :)

[ANTO]

lmao @ the hamster who rools the roost

we do get more cautious... Unless the firewater is flowing. Whilst drunk I separated two dogs fighting in the bar nearby (no they weren't regular punters lol) and had to go to hospital for stitches - the poor spaniel's ears were shredded by the Bullstaff. Would I do it sober. I cross the road to avoid dogs when I'm sober lol.

[hcarson]

they must have been from the rough pub on the corner lol!!
I keep American bulldogs..well just the one now but I used to have to separate them when they fought..i remember once two were fighting and a third was trying to help me stop them fight but he was actually just getting in the way...all I had to help me was a dented dish, no shoes and was stood in their toilet area right by the stingy nettles as that's where they started fighting, was on my own tryin to fully separate 3, just me an a bowl...decided after that, as there was like 30 stone g between them no more! we just keep one now...lesson learnt lol!

[hcarson]

the dogs combined weight was 30 stone by the way...not mine lol

[ANTO]

yeah - they were from the dog and duck lol
Jeepers - you were lucky you didnt get badly hurt. I know it wouldnt be the dog's fault once they get into a row they can't help themselves.
My friend in America rescues American Pits - I think he has 3 and they're all huge !!

[ANTO]

I got that about the weight - but thanks for quickly clarifying lol - kidding xD

[hcarson]

..just had visions of this huge person charging down the garden lol..i have kept dogs all my life and amazingly never ever been bitten...the damn cat on the other hand is lucky she still got teeth! Had all the buldogs from pups literally gave birth to them ( guessing i dont need to clarify I didnt actually give birth to them...u no what i mean lol) they wouldnt dare bite me,even in fighting.it was one particular dog that always started it,lovely dog till she hit a certain age then occassionally wanted to eat the others lol.my sister has a pit, i like them but i got young kids so wouldnt keep one at moment,stick to bullies for me...in fact mine was wearing a welsh ladies hat today lol

[ANTO]

lol... I think the dogs would stop fighting immediately at such a huge human coming towards them.read morelol... I think the dogs would stop fighting immediately at such a huge human coming towards them.
I'm currently 'on call' lol, to take turns doggy-sitting an 18 year old lady-jack russell (Pip). She is keeping my friend up at night so I try to lend a hand. He will not part with her despite CHF beginning to take it's toll. They are wee hairy humans.

[ANTO]

aww.. the 'read more' gremlins have struck again - just when I was telling you all about my friends dog - 18 year old jack russell whom I 'baby-sit' for him now and then.

[hcarson]

i'm a massive dog lover. they don't talk crap behind ur back..not unless the treats are extra good anyway lol..my brother had a jack russell hang from his balls once (brothers balls, not the dogs, that would be sick) whos the one in ur pic?

[ANTO]

lol @ 'they don't talk crap behind ur back..'
The one in my pic passed 18 months ago. Rusty, he was the last of the litter of the jack that I 'baby-sit'. Great laugh but I would not have been laughing if I'd suffered the fate of your bro..ouchie (I bet all the guys instinctively grabbed their crown jewels reading that one).

[hcarson]

Its a bit of a theme with him coz another dog i had got him there coz ge was being loud and drunk as well lol. Sorry to hear bout the one in ur pic, wish they could age with us

[ANTO]

I'd have definitely worn a jockstrap after the first time lol.
Yeah they do go quickly