Over Eager

Story of my life lol

Over Eager

Here I sit, watching the clock,

slowely rotating; tick-tick-tock.

Frustration levels rising-

I'm going to be late!

A sigh of relief as you come

through the gate.

Handing over child duties 

I rush out the door, legs

moving so fast they hardly

touch the floor.

I arrive at the college, folders

in arm..face and heart drop

as I read the sign in alarm-

all classes are cancelled- 

I'd totally forgot!

A shake of the head as off

home I trot....

Author's Note

COMMENTS AND CRITICISMS WELCOME

Reviews

[W. R. Croatt]

Well done. I tend to like the poems that are rather long along with more brief ones such as this. But the length and the pace fit that of the actual event, which I thought was cleverly done. Given that I'm always late for just about everything, I had to laugh when I read this.

[hcarson]

thank you..so frustrating isn't..especially when you needn't have been there hahs, your review is much appreciated thank you :)

[Inject Positivity]

Very true Helen, this is how many of our life goes on, I can relate to the situation and the story of your poem totally... How irritating it feels when you did so many things to get to somewhere and when you reaches there you find the place is closed.... This is so well done, there is a lovely balance in the poem and also a nice flow which gives it more meaning... Loved it... Full ratings....

Sincerely
Dhiman

[hcarson]

thank you Dhiman, maddening isn't it grrr, thanks for reading, much appreciated :)

[Bacchus]

this almost feels like a backwards dream to me.
we forget we have signed up for a class- eons ago- and we have to face missing all those classes, can't find a combination to a locker, forget the final... and we wake up.

Fun that this is rushing and rushing... to nothing happening.
Hope it was a beautiful day that you got to enjoy instead. :)

[hcarson]

thank you Bacchus..i hate those dreams, so blinking stressful lol..well i was meant to have 6 hours of maths so asides from having a long walk home a*s soon as i got there which i was annoyed at i was actually pleased to be home..me and maths don't see eye to eye lol

[richieb]

A great poem of something we are all guilty of. Well written piece that inspires cursing, road rage and throwing breakable objects. Enjoyed it.
Richie b.

[hcarson]

haha, throwing breakable objects..wish i had just for the fun of it!! thank you Richieb for the lovely comments, much appreciated

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i relate to this...all that rushing to get somewhere, forgetting that we don't need to be there on that day...it happens to all of us...i felt the adrenaline pumping with this one...and then the sigh...almost disappointment...damn, i am here now...and didn't even have to be?

a real life moment presented.

[hcarson]

this one is kind of true..the waiting and rushing all true..i rely on public transport so grrr...but when i managed to climb to the top floor with bad bad and a broken lift it was the tutor that had unexpectedly cancelled the entire day...as you are from that environment i'm sure you can image the pretty names she was called that day haha!! thank you for reading and your comments, always appreciated :)

[Jacob Clifford]

I feel a great deal of second-degree ache. I've always been bad at remembering when things move time or are cancelled, so I know the feeling. This is a nice, brief poem. Well written and relatable. The one things I would change is the word "I'd" in the final stanza. It works just fine, but I don't think the contraction is needed; "I totally forgot" works, if that's the tense you're aiming for.

[hcarson]

you're corrrect, the omission would work, i hadn't actually thought of doing it that way so thank you for the suggestion :) and thank you for reading and your positive review, it is very much appreciated :)

[Shannon]

Oh my, that was a serious chuckle. The first stanza says impatience, the second hurry, the third exasperation.
I have a wording suggestion (you know you are always welcome to take or leave):
moving so quickly they
hardly touch the floor.

[hcarson]

yes, i think quickly would have a better flow to it so i will change that, will remove the contraction from I'd in last stanza as well do you think? this is true story except when i got there, in agony all over it was an unexpected cancellation from a stupid tutor i was meant to have all day but she hadn't bothered to let us know,..i was furious aas i had had to walk to top floor as well grrr.thanks for reading and the lovely comment..always appreciated as you know :)

[Shannon]

"I had completely forgot" maybe?
PS inspiration sucks!

[hcarson]

need inspiring?...how about a short story on a hitchhiker on one of t hose roads you talk about...hikers fate lays in your hands...what do you do????

[Shannon]

Lol. Maybe. There is kind of a code for that situation, actually.

[hcarson]

a code?? i'm intriqued!!