why run

please
do not
take offense
to this reality
you always
seemed to
fall
for me so
blindly
without trying
to understand
that i am still
a child
and can never be
a man
i placed my
faith
into this long ago
you forced
me to
remove
it from myself
when you told me
you had to go
back into that place
of self-reflecting
grace
i made myself
a ghost
just to replace
your face
with an illusion
of sunflowers
spinning in the sun
when i feel your
flesh fall
into mine
it only makes me
run
into that towering
shadow of
nameless
blackabove
i gave up that
phantom of you
when you
unchained my
dove for
another's hopeless
love

Reviews

[loowzerX]

I'm not sure if I read it correctly, but I think that as a poem it could be better had it been structured slightly differently. Other than that, I really enjoyed this, the diction and theme and emotions. :)

sometimes people just have to go.

[just rose.]

refraining from capitalization and punctuation here serve to give the reader a sense of intimacy, a stream-of-consciousness quality that brings one into the immediacy of the theme ... the feelings here are passionate, and they are IMHO better treated in the manner you have chosen.

[Alicia™]

The words you chose here a beautiful, and even though it was sort of chunky, I liked the flow. It'd be really helpful if you capitalized and used punctuation, though.

But still, it's a great poem! Wonderful job.