A Favor for a Friend

Old poem I wrote as a guide for a friend to end my feelings for her

Hey, I know you're busy, but I need a favor
I need you to yell at servers, not treat them as neighbors
It'd also help me if you stopped working hard
and cover all that you eat with a spoonful of lard
Maybe trade all of your grins for wrinkly frowns
Then say no nice things - just bring people down
Perhaps stop using soap and just lather in trash
Then trade all your makeup for piles of ash
Maybe ask complete strangers if they've money to lend
I'm asking you this as a favor for a friend

Please forget a language as you only need one,
then stop being kind and carry a gun
I hope it's not much to ask that you shrink your eyes
and think like a rock instead of being wise
Please, lose the cheekbones and widen your chin,
then cover a tooth or two with foil made of tin
Just stop your voice from gliding that way
So that I won't enjoy everything you say

I don't like asking for help, but I'm in trouble, you see
These favors I ask would take some weight off of me
They would make it easier for me to have a bad day
and help to scare some of my smiles away
The favors might lend me productivity, too
by giving back time I'd spend thinking of you