Neither Nor

Life's first breath is
startled and strong,
filled with false hope
and peacock promises .


Sly is the source that greedily
sucks each breath back yet
forces another and another, until
life's pollution becomes
the sludge coursing
through thin veins.


This jaded air sits heavily,
a torture of crushing stones where
peace is a fallacy, a tromp d'oeil state
filled with the dead and fools,
and I lament that I am neither.

Reviews

[R. L. Ives]

From life's first breath to lamenting being neither dead or a fool, and the drudgery in between, this thing we call living. Think I would rather be dead than a fool but there's times when life feels like a fools game in which one can't win for losing.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks RL, I couldn't agree more. I appreciate your cleverly worded comment. It's not much of a choice is it?

[R. L. Ives]

Very welcome. Nope, not much at all, but I guess life

[R. L. Ives]

Very welcome. Nope, not much at all, but I guess life is a lot what one makes it.

[KAOlmsted]

Killer last line...I went *blink blink* yeah...Great stuff here! That whole second stanza was fantastic.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much kimmer!

[KAOlmsted]

Always my pleasure!

[Dream Weaver]

Dark and woefully beautiful, the air of negativity bordering
on genius...I enjoyed it, very nice work...

[icelandicblue]

Hi Dreamweaver,

Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I am pleased that you enjoyed the poem.

[Dream Weaver]

You're quite welcome icelandicblue...I really do enjoy these
types of writes.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Wow great write with great words play. I admire your serious words skills. This truly a relative write. I love it!

[icelandicblue]

Thank you Marc, I really appreciate it.

[Distant horizons]

It does seem that we are surrounded by these things, especially the fools. I think there is more confusion out there than we could ever concieve. Wondering where we fit into the unseen jigsaw, and why we have to be a piece of this jigsaw in the first place.
Wonderfully thought provoking words.

[icelandicblue]

Agreed, the universe is endless and we are but small cogs in its wheel.

[Megara]

nice poem:)

[icelandicblue]

thx

[icelandicblue]

So well spoken, life is such a learning path, a whole life is.... it never stops, it continues to darker and lighter sides of our inner cores.... you worded this gracefully with all it needs... you're such a dear poetess. Glad I had some time to come over here, I've missed your words.

"This jaded air sits heavily,
a torture of crushing stones where
peace is a fallacy, a tromp d'oeil state
filled with the dead and fools"

How brilliant you can be? :)

Thank you dear,

- Elisa

[icelandicblue]

It is wonderful to see you. Thank you as always for your kind words and you gracious comments.

You're most welcome, I find some nightly time to review finally, so happy to be here... always! your friend, Elisa

[Dr. Wood ?]

Very clever

We all are tarnished from the moment we are born....will we ever get it right?

I fear not

[icelandicblue]

Perhaps not Dr. Wood, all we can do is try. Thanks so much for dropping by.

[quinfinn]

innocence lost....begins from the moment we are born. i love the way you have expressed the guilt of humanity in this without "jading" anything else. each breath we take makes us stronger and yet, more debased by our own condition. very clever write.

[icelandicblue]

Ah, quinfinn- thank you for such an insightful comment. We are jaded all, it's just a matter of degrees.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh to wish we were either dead or fools who just couldn't see the forest for the trees..because as life goes on we get more lost and more lost...

life eats us up these days...the smarter we get, the dumber we wish to be.

it's all such chaos...but what a fine poem this is.

[icelandicblue]

Oh how true that is jacob! The more I know the less I wish to see. Thank you for your commentary, it is much appreciated.