To My Child At Christmas

He opened the box and burned me to a crisp with its light. Love is not always enough. I have given it to him I hope someday he finds strength in it.

My myopia makes the lights blur
on the Christmas tree adding a melding of
light and color that no impressionist
could adequately capture.

In those moments of smudged view
I wish that the memories I carry
could melt into colored wax
and be molded into a more pleasing form.

Shiny packages rest beneath the tree
bearing promises of momentary bliss,
not for what the box contains
but for what it represents;

love was carefully placed
among the softest tissue
and covered in mirrored paper
wrapped in lustrous satin curls,

a symbolic way to say I love you,
I know you and I cherish each of you.
It is not about the item in the box,
it is forever about you.

However, if I were able I would enclose
pure love, white light, silken and smooth
that would envelop you, my wayward son,
to guide you to the path of your own salvation.

Oh were I able to capture that for you
and watch the luminescence fill your pores
and soothe your soul so that you might find
each footstep to a life overflowing with hope and happiness.

I love you Evan, Merry Christmas 2013

Author's Note

Thank you all for reading.

Reviews

[Joyce S. Greene]

Your strong emotion is palpable in this one, Anne. The images you chose are tremendously striking ones, and I can feel your love in every word. I pray that your Christmas is a good one and that someday your son will find his way.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you Joyce. I appreciate your thoughts and kind words.

[MichaelsLyric.com]

This is so very touching, to tears. A lovely tribute. I can tell that this piece took a lot. Great, great work.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you Michael, I'm afraid there is not merry little christmas for me just constant disappointment, I hope yours is better.

[Baby Ricochet]

Blue I started tearing up on the last two stanza's. Truly one of the most heart felt pieces I've read on the wc.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks BR, I've been doing a lot of crying myself this evening. I hope you are able to find some Christmas cheer with your Christmas Girl. Be happy BR.

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

Beautiful... true love on a grand stage.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks poetic heroics...we thought we had him almost in rehab but Im not sure its going to happen on thursday like we'd hoped.

[icelandicblue]

He's not ready to open that gift.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

I hope he finds the strength to open that one very soon. I lost my older brother to his addiction and wish I were brave enough to speak my feelings to him. I saw him invincible... till he fell. You are on the best path you can travel now, the rest is his choice. I wish you all continued strength through this ordeal.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you, the hardest lesson to learn as a parent is that you really cannot save your children. It has made for a difficult Christmas Eve, it's hard to enjoy yourself when you know a family member is dying even if it is by his own choice. You've told me of your brother so I know you understand what I mean.

[icelandicblue]

He lied, a big elaborate one I might add. I picked him up at 6 AM to bring him to rehab only to get a "phone call" saying there was a glitch and he couldn't get a bed til Monday- the call went to him. His lies were uncovered, he opened that box I wrote about in the poem, burned me with the light and now he is homeless in a snowstorm. As a mother I don't think that I have felt more lost, betrayed or hurt as I do today. He loves his drugs and nothing else. It is all so very sad and devastating. Thank you always for understanding the havoc and destruction this brings on everyone. I fear for his life but my love is not enough, he just knows it's there if he needs it.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

And that's what makes you spectacular, preserving that love only you can give, when he needs it. It's a road he must walk alone, but so many of us forget to be there should they decide to turn around. I truly applaud your bravery and endurance.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you, I don't know what the right thing to do is. There is so much out there, cut them out of your lives, tough love, let them find their own way, make them homeless, make them turn their lives around and there is truth in that to a degree but and I all can do is love him. I don't know any other way. I take a lot of flack for my stance because it hasn't worked but neither have any of the other "techniques." Of course I am blamed for undermining them (I do not give him money). I did leave him in a snowstorm yesterday- I was totally devastated- the most dramatic thing I've done so far, but now he's in detox today. It's a waiting game. They say you suffer less if you practice this tough love- you do it because you love someone but you've got to love yourself too, but if you love someone how do you shut that off, how do you ostracize them? I could never love myself before my child. So many experts say it is the answer and I am the problem. I have found that there is no wall I can build to protect myself, instead I wait for him to find his way and I will wait for him until the day I die, sitting on the small wall I tried to build and I want him to know that I will never lose faith in him. I will always love him. I may not give him money or at this time shelter but I do love him. If he dies tomorrow I know I could live with the fact that I did everything I possibly could to help a dying man, he is my son. Thank you poetic heroics, your words mean a lot.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Having gone down such a similar road with my brother, my heart is bleeding for you right now. The coming 1st, is when my brother passed due to his illness. I do hope, your son survives his trials with his. There truly is no "right" appro

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Approach. We deal the best we can and hope for the best. My heart goes out to you all!

[Rita L. Sev]

This is simply beautiful, Blue. Your heart is poured into each word, and your love for your son radiates. The best gift we can receive is to know that our loved ones know that they are loved... May this Christmas see your child home...

[icelandicblue]

Thank you Rita and joy to you and yours.

[redflutterby]

I'm baking and listening to christmas music...and teary eyed from your poem. As a mother I know all we want is for our children to be happy and whole. From the moment they are born we know that all we can do is give them the tools and love to survive. When that doesnt seem to be enough our hearts ache. I'm hoping your son finds his way back and realizes how happy life can be. Much love Anne...youve touched my heart with this beautiful poem ..

[icelandicblue]

Thank you Red, I appreciate you support, now and always.

[Jack...]

Anne, I loved this poem. I pray that what you find under your tree this Christmas is the one thing that would truly make you happy. You deserve nothing less my sweet friend. My heart goes out to you Anne...may your smile find its home upon your face for eternity.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you Jack. Merry Christmas.

[Traci]

Such a lovely heartfelt write, Anne. I hope these precious words touch Evan's heart and comfort and peace is granted to you this holiday season.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much Traci. Happy Holiday to you.

[Dr. Wood ?]

not one word out of place and nothing missing, this flows ICE like the warmest stream, lovely

[icelandicblue]

Thank you doc...it's for him...I hope somehow he hears it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is sadly beautiful..if only I could wrap up my love, and the light to a better road of life for you...I would give you that present above all others.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much jacob. That is exactly what I was trying to say.