refusal.

and they tore it down.
i promised myself everyday that i would.
but every promise was followed by an excuse.
and every excuse was followed by a lie.

the swing hung above from the heights of the trees.
the water pump, below, to the depths of the ground.
and the house, a crumbling reminder of our past,
creaked and sighed each day.

and as it did, i would make those little promises.
and then make my excuses, and those little lies.
and everyday i would become something im not,
everyday, one more worn, stretched smile
one more dragged out, forced laugh
one more fake sense of security.

after every setting and rising of the sun,
every piece of me seemed to fall apart.
every secret inside, begged to be told
every truth inside me screamed to be heard
every little part of me wanted to be free.

my secure safehaven had become my worst fear.
my sense of confidence had become self doubt.
every ounce of self respect had become the reassurance i constantly needed.

until finally,
they tore it down.
the swing lay on the ground in an akward pose.
the pump was ripped from its bearings.
and the house lay below it all, spread across the ground in pieces.
and down with these ruins fell my soul.

the person i once was,
who i once knew,
was no more.
in her place, was a newfound person.
one who actually had a sense of pride and well being.
in the place of the fallen outcast, stood a person.
that person, was me.