Messed up Way of Thinking

Up is Down, and Left is Right...my thinking's not straight..

My Logic's all wrong

I didn't want to hug you

Cause I didn't want you to leave

Everytime we hug

You leave...

And somehow,

By not hugging you, I thought I'd be able to make you stay

 

And we walked,

Not talking,

Not looking at each other

And it hurt

As we neared the place where you would leave

 

Then you hugged me

I didn't want to hug you

Cause I didn't want you to leave

Everytime I hug you

You leave,

And I didn't think I would be able to let go

So I thought that if I didn't hug you,

I wouldn't have to let go...

 

Then you had this look in your eyes

When you let go of me

Cause I didn't hug you

Cause I wouldn't have to let go

 

"I need to ask you something," you said, that look in your eyes.

"I'll call you later."

You started walking off...

 

"Wait." I called, realizing that my plan had so many holes...

I couldn't make you stay.

But I had to somehow delay you.

"Ask me now..." I pleaded, stopping you only for a moment as you turned to say,

"Later."

"Please?" I asked.

This time you didn't stop or turn around,

You only repeated what you had said before.

 

And I knew I couldn't make you stay,

So I ran up to you and hugged you....

Still wishing I could stop time...

But I don't have that power.

 

So many people watching,

Including my little 10 year old sister...

Didn't want her to see me,

Her role model,

Being so pitiful...

So I refrained from

Begging,

from detaining you by kissing you,

By hugging you any longer....

And I let you go

And I watched the car roll away while I hugged myself

while sitting in the fetal position...

 

It hurts more without you than with you...

But it hurts even more when you're with me,

but at the same time, you're not with me...

Sometimes, I don't think you care about us...

Everything else matters but the fate of our relationship...

If you don't have time to deal with a relationship,

I rather you be truthful with yourself and tell me...

If I'm not doing something right,

Or whining too much,

Or being a pain in the a*s,

TELL ME!

It's the only way it'll get fixed...

And if nothing's wrong, tell me...

Cause I feel like I'm not doing anything right...

 

Now, I'm so tired...

I can't even sleep...

I'm up waiting for your call,

I'm trying to figure out if that question you have to ask me

Will involve the words, "Break up."

No, I don't want to...

I just want to know that you care...

As much as I do...

Cause I feel foolish...

Crying alone all the time...

Cause the way we communicate,

Spells

D I S A S T E R