What They Wanted

It was what they wanted.

It was what they deserved.

And so I gave it, willingly.

...Love does that.

 

I was soft. 

That pillow to fall on.

I was hard. 

That immovable force;

A solid launch pad with the big red "X"  

I was steady. 

That single beacon that lights the shore

Showing the way home.

It never goes anywhere.

It just...shines.

Compassion.

Encouragement.

Faithfulness.

               

The music that sang them to sleep

The laughter that encircled them

The tender hand that wiped their tears

The doctor that nursed them

The counselor that taught them

The warrior that fought for them.

 

It was what they wanted.

It was what they deserved.

 

And then the bomb dropped.

 

I saw my shadow burned into the ground

Watched the ashes of who I was

S c a t t e r e d

                on a bitter wind.

 

What they wanted

What they deserved

Was for me to rise again.

And so I did.

...Love does that.

 

But, oh, how hard it is to learn

That love...yes, even love unbound and fierce

Which perfectly imperfect,

Fails and falls but  

Still remains

Cannot

                un-burn

                                the landscape

But only scatter seeds on the empty plot

And pray that they will grow.

But as I wait and watch,

I swear, it seems eternal.

For all I gave,

I could not give them what they wanted most.

 

What I wanted?

What I deserved?

Was forgiveness

                Compassion

                                Encouragement

           Faithfulness

...Love does that.