Home

If home is where the heart is, then my home is where you are.

I believe you.

You looked up at the sky and told me that everything was going to be fine -

As long as the rain kept falling and summer afternoons passed in a heartbeat, and peanut butter still stuck to our fingers and the sun still set on the West Coast states.

What matters is that the table is set when you get home at night and the carpets stay clean, and that there are always leftovers on the inside of the fridge door next to the raspberry jam.

Promises don't mean a thing, and in the night sky there will always be more stars than we can count - but what's important is that we try and try again.

The wind is persistent and doors slam to keep out the angry dust, and the tide will recede when the morning comes around.

Guilt can drive you crazy, up the walls and out the door, but nothing lasts forever and you'll come back like you always do.

Green grass draws a vibrant line against the blue sky and the dog chases the sprinklers and the children lie in the grass, intoxicated by the summer air - and the smell of Popsicles and weeds will send them to sleep, safe inside; sweet dreams.

You took my hand in the ocean storm as we walked along the sandy shore, and held me in your arms as the fireworks lit up the sky. Smoke scattered into our eyes and we laughed about the sparklers and popcorn and elephant ears.

The Ferris wheel rose up in the sky and we stared through the glass floor, and if we squinted we could see our parents waving, goodbye, farewell.

So we lay side by side as the rain beat down on the tin roof, and we cried together as we packed our bags and the last train was leaving - so I pressed the Polaroid to my chest and listened to your heartbeat.

You said not a thing but the look on your face was unmistakable.

Green eyes, blue skies. It's only a matter of time.

I believe you.

Reviews

[Derek Fine]

Like I mentioned- your descriptions are fantastic. As Sam said- lyrical. This one actually does sound a bit like a poem at parts. And I'm sure if it were to be read out loud to me, I'd be able to picture everything clearly. So keep up the vivid imagery- I love that.

The middle part does seem to lack structure. It's well written, but I don't think the image montage necessarily relates back to the beginning and the end. So if you could tie all of that in more clearly with the piece as a whole, I think it would really strengthen it.

[Chloe]

This is beautiful. You have a wonderful, lyrical way of writing; it made this easy and enjoyable reading. I feel almost like this could be part of a larger piece, or at least there's more story connected to it.
The third- and second-to-last lines reminded me of a John Ralston song. xD

[Lauren Marie]

This was a lovely piece.
However, I'd have to agree with Derek, the middle seemed to have little relation to the actual characters. A couple paragraphs where about them, yes, but ones such as: "Green grass draws a vibrant line against the blue sky and the dog chases the sprinklers and the children lie in the grass, intoxicated by the summer air - and the smell of Popsicles and weeds will send them to sleep, safe inside; sweet dreams," don't -really- have anything to do with the main characters. Maybe if you described their memories together in this paragraph (and others where they are currently absent), then this piece would become more personal.
I do like the lyricism (hence sounding "lyrical"), where it sounds like poetry.
A beautiful write!
~Lauren

[shengchyi [:]

your writing is very lyrical. you should try writing some songs, it'd probably fit your style bettar.

also, i was there when all this was going down. lol.